A couple of hours later, I called the Feds.
I called the Federeal Bureau of Investigation, stating, “Hello, my name is Josh Regence. I would like to report some suspicious activity. I believe
I witnessed the mafia carry out a hit, with my own eyes?”
The phone operator on the other line said, “Okay, please hold.”
Then she transferred me to another operator after placing my on hold for several minutes, while I’m waiting in the alley.
The next operator said gruffly, “Sir, unless if you have specific details, we do not appreciate prank calls at this time. Thank you for your
services-“
I interrupted him, saying frantically, “It was an old GM van! It was very typical looking! It was probably blue, natural blue…with dents! Two
guys in black suits rolled in on a residential neighborhood to kidnap an old guy! He looked….oldish! Like an old guy! I couldn’t jot down the
license plate number in time, but it started with a B….”
The phone operator than said, “Sir, if you insist, please give me your phone number, and we’ll have this information on file. We’ll contact you
the first thing tomorrow, and will send in an agent to talk to you over the phone. I’m not sure exactly what you saw, but we’ll investigate this if
we deem it to be necessary. What’s your phone number, sir?”
I then gave this phone operator my phone number.
He said, “Great. We’ll in touch.”
Click.
That didn’t help. I check my phone for messages. 7 missed calls, all of which are from Rachel.
Trying to keep her calm, she called me again, saying half nervous and half angrily, “Josh, where the heck are you?”
I said, “I’m in an alley somewhere. Are you at the restaurant?”
She said, “Yes! Dude, I’ve been waiting here for you for a half an hour. Please come back here as soon as possible!”
I told her, “I’m on my way. Hope the wait wasn't too long.”
She said nervously, "Yes, it was! Several of the guys in here were staring at me, it was so uncomfortable! They keep staring at my damn boobs
and butt, and...ugh! You've got to come back here. If I were a guy, I wouldn't have to put up with such perverted behavior from strangers. If
this night gets any worse, I'll just snap at somebody. Sorry to take it out on you. Also, it'd be nice if you refer to me by male pronouns."
I thought to myself, she wants to be a guy? Huh? Umm...okay. Not sure why because she's beautiful, but if that's what she wants....
I said coolly, " We'll talk about that later."
She asked frantically, “But why were you in an alley?”
I said, “Long story. I’ll tell that to you tomorrow.”
I hope this is just some weird hallucination or dream that I'm having. I must have ate something weird today. Or maybe some guy at the bar
put something in my drink. Could be muscle relaxers. Or ecstasy. I'm tripping balls. Next up, I'm on my way to the restaurant to pick up my
friend, before calling it a night.