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Mad Science

Categorising the pigs

added 10 years ago A

While Beth was musing about what life would be like as a pig, two younger farmhands climbed into the pen. One of them took out what looked three different coloured waterboard markers, while the other moved to one end of the pen. There was a door which could apparently be operated to release the pigs into three smaller holdings adjourning the one they found themselves in right now. With everything prepared, the older farmhand waiting outside started to speak: "OK pigs. Great to have you here at Andrews. What we need to do now is separate you according to purpose so you can be led to the right sties and the unfortunate but necessary procedures involved with settling into a pig life can take as quickly as possible." Beth did not have the time to wonder what 'unfortunate procedures' the man was talking about, because he immediately went on: "The Center already did something similar, but we here prefer our own system. So no worries. We will separate you into three groups. Some of you will join our herd of breeders and add man little piglets to our herds. Others will go to the fattening operation to be - well you can guess as much. And unfortunately some of you may have to go directly to our meat production facilities. We buy morphees in bulk and it may be that some amongst you do not fulfill our criteria so the most cost efficient treatment is immediate processing."

Beth and her mother could feel the general unease among the pigs upon this announcement. They themselves felt worried but were also slightly hopeful that this might be their chance to stay together after all. Meanwhile, the farmhand with the markers pushed the pigs back into one corner to make some free room. He told the pigs: "I will move you forward one by one so the boss can take a good look at you. You better behave. by the way, if you are not interested in getting to know my electric prod and maybe win a free ticket to the butcher's." The frightened pigs huddled together as much as they could while the three men exchanged sly grins, knowing that each of the pigs, even the breeders would have an appointment at the meat packing plant when their time had come. And this was, when the farm deemed it most profitable.

Then the farmhand selected the first pig. It was a young sow named Kathy he pushed forward into the open space. The boss farmhand told her to turn around once and inspected her closely. Announcing the verdict, he told her: "You're one nice sow. Would be a pity to let your genes go to waste too soon. You're a breeder." The younger farmhands marked her back with a green marker and pushed her through the gate on the left. Beth had a feeling, Kathy moved slightly more relaxed after hearing she was not in for the slaughterhouse. Indeed, it even prided the former prom queen a little to hear she even looked good as a sow. Things went less well for the next pig, however. It was an older sow with a limping leg. The boss only took a quick look at her before sending her off: "I wonder why they even bother sending pigs like you here. No use for cripples. But at least you'll be free of any worries soon. By tomorrow morning you'll be bacon, my dear." While he laughed nastily, the sow trembled and shaked but the farmhands routinely marked her with a red pen and a push with the electric rod made her stumble through the rightmost gate. Next came to castrated boars which of course were sent into the middle compartment to go into fattening. They didn't even make a fuss, having settled into their fates before. Then the pigs went one by one. Indeed only a few had to face immediate slaughter. But a worrying number was determined for fattening, among them many which were originally intended for breeding. Finally, the turn came to Beth's mum. The boss took a very close look at herand even asked her lie down so hee could take a look at her teats. Finally he said: "Interesting case. You're a bit older, aren't you? But still in good shape. And we think some older sows in the group help the younger ones when experiencing their first pregnancy. so of to breeding you go." Beth and her mum tried to exchange a piggish smile while she waddled off to the pig pen. Beth managed to get in next. The boss only took a qucik look and almost smiled: "Wow, hams like that is what we want in our next generation pigs. You're an obvious breeder." And off she went with a green mark on her back to rejoin her mum. Both rubbed against each other to express their pleasure.

The selection process dragged on for a while but finally all pigs knew their destination. Of course their was much crying amongst the slaughter pigs and no more then dull silence amongst the fattening pigs while the sows knew they were at least best off under the circumstances. The farmhands clapped hands about the work done. Then one of them went into the boxes and each herded 'his' group to their new homes, even if for some it would only be fr their last night.

Beth and her mum almost looked forward to see what the breeding pens would be like.


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