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Daring Space Adventures - The Trouble of Teleporter Buffers

added by Wert 9 years ago O

"Now?" your reptilian abductor replies, "now we head to the next planet on the list. Kind of on a tight schedule here."

Before you have the chance to raise any sort of objection, she rapidly taps at a series of buttons on the wall beside her, causing the ship to lurch suddenly and violently into motion, sending your body (well, your copy of her body at any rate) tumbling to the floor. "You really should brace yourself when I'm engaging and disengaging the engines," she says.

Nodding, you pull yourself up off the floor, dust yourself off, and look over to see her punching another button... at which point the ship comes instantaneously to a stop, once more causing you to lose your balance, this time landing you on your surprisingly sensitive new tail.

"Didn't I say to brace yourself? Anyway, I don't want to go beaming down in person again until getting this teleporter issue straightened out... city or country?"

"Huh?" you ask, deciding perhaps you'd best remain seated on the floor until she steps away from those buttons entirely.

"I'm transporting this next male up alone to avoid this little copycat error again. Since I can't very well check if he's willing up front, and it's a similar planet to yours, city or country? Which do you think is the place to scoop from to get someone who's going to go with the flow and not harass us with a bunch of dumb questions?"

It's not exactly the sort of question you've considered before. "Country, I guess?" comes your eventual reply. "I mean, usually you hear about farmers getting abducted by aliens, and people who live in major cities tend to have pretty demanding jobs..."

"My thought exactly!" she replies, once again rapidly punching at what you'd almost swear were the exact same buttons used to start the engines. Suddenly, in a puff of thick smoke, right where you were standing just moments ago is, well, you. Or, more precisely, a very confused alien in your former human body. As he begins to examine himself in a bit of a panic, your abductor smacks herself in the forehead. "Oh that's what happened. It's a caching issue... keep him busy while I fix this will you?"

She reaches up and pulls the entire panel of buttons out from the wall, exposing a distressing array of toggle switches, loose wires, and what even appear to be a number of punch cards hanging loosely from their slots. As she makes adjustments, you do your best to explain the entire situation thus far to the panicky stranger still clawing at his unfamiliar new face (which is, again, your old familiar face, a detail you gloss over entirely as the pronouns just get entirely too confusing). "OK there it is, now let me just send him back real quick..."

He disappears in an additional cloud of smoke, never having left the telepad, just as you are collecting your manners and about to ask his name. Your captor quickly adjusts a few things, pops the panel back into place, and once again teleports the newcomer back in yet another cloud of smoke. After having a bit of a coughing fit from all this teleporter smoke you find yourself face to face with what is presumably your fellow abductee in his original form. A rather rotund and stocky fellow with three nostrils, covering in long shaggy orange hair, and wearing what would appear to be a pair of purple overalls. Now feeling significantly more calm, he introduces himself as Murty, and offers for you to "put'er there." In what is a rather rude, if understandable mood, you tell him to hold that thought as you have important matters to discuss with your reptilian double.

"So... the teleporter working properly now?" you ask.

"Yup, no more problems," she replies. "Simple issue really. See, I just upgraded it, and it was on one of those weird factory settings. Instead of just scanning you in and printing you back out, it was set to print out from the last scan, then copy the pattern over. Some error catching thing. But now it's set up not to store past patterns like that, overrate the save file every time, and spit you out just like it sucks you in. Make sense?"

You take a moment to process the explanation, wondering why she mixed so many metaphors. "I think so, but wouldn't that mean you just overwrote my 'pattern' when you beamed him back up?" you ask, pointing at Murty, who is now strolling about the ship, whistling in appreciation.

"Oh, whoops!" she replies. "Yeah that was kinda careless of me wasn't it. Don't worry though, I'm not going to leave you stuck as a spare me, that'd get too confusing. We'll just scan a fresh pattern for you off someone and swap you into that. I'd totally swing us back to your planet for that but it'd take way too much fuel to pull a U-turn... with the prices around here. Really though, it'll all work out. Next stop we make we'll fix you up with a body in great shape, all sorts of attractive to the opposite sex. Like an actor or a model. Maybe even grab someone to keep you company. Room to double up on a species since we lost yours and all, and the queen shouldn't mind sharing too much. Or hey, we can scan another of these orange furry things, if that's something you think you'd like. What do you say?"


What do you do now?


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