“Okay, listen up, Andrew. Here’s the plan.” Hazel whispered to me sounding rather pissed off, although she had almost constantly sounded that way since she dropped out of the sky from the future, “We’re currently at least two days by sea from the City of Sorcerers, that is, if the wind stays behind us.”
I nod. Half listening and half wondering why it is the future version of my sister, Princess Sara, is always grumpy and how she became so bossy… well, she was always bossy but now she actually sounded commanding rather than petulant.
A sharp pain in my shoulder stops my idle wandering and I look at Hazel, seeing her fist still clenched from the punch she gave me. “I said listen.”
She really has changed. Did change? Will change…? I had better listen before she hits me again.
Noticing that I was giving her my full attention she continued, “Since you three made such a fuss about not wanting to stay as pigs for the entire journey we are going to need to make a deal with the Captain of this ship before he finds the human and elf stowaways on board and decides to have us all thrown into the sea. To make a deal we are going to need leverage.”
She opens a small wooden crate beside the large one that we’d been smuggled onto the ship in. I see a familiar metallic glint and she pulls a small device from the crate and hands it to me. It has a curved, bone grip attached to a large, rotating metal cylinder with a tube on the end.
“This is a Bolt Single Action Peachmaker. This is the trigger. Anyone you shoot with it will be pressuriomorphed into a ball about the size of a peach. ” She turns back to the crate and pulls out the large metal object that had fallen from the sky with her. She held it in both hands and it was a wonder she was able to carry such a huge device.
“And this is ZIG 510 Ballbuster Special.” Hazel said, proudly, “she fires sixty shells a minute, has built in recoil compensation springs, range adjustment cog and her magazine can hold twenty rounds.”
“Then how does it fire sixt-” I begin.
“Forget the details! Just stick to the plan and this will all work out well.” She hushes me. I’m left wondering what the plan actually is whilst we sneak off away from the cargo hold.
--------------
Hazel kicks the door, breaking the lock, and raises her Ballbuster as she barges into the Captain’s quarters. I wait at the doorway behind her, Peachmaker in one hand and my sword in the other.
“What is the meaning of this?” The Captain shouts, grabbing the flintlock from the holster at his side and pointing it at Hazel’s forehead.
“ ‘Drew, send him in.” Hazel spits and I do as told, ushering the poor deckhand we’d captured into the room. He looked a sorry state hopping along with his hands and legs tightly tied and mouth gagged with his own bandana.
“Watch carefully Captain Gomez. No harm will come to him.” She says and points her weapon at the poor deckhand. With a pop he is splattered with a clear shell capsule and the varnish like sheen spreads over his body, pulling and contorting him. He dwindles smaller, his back and knees bend and soon his feet and head meet as he is rolled up into a ball. The Captain stares at his reduced and remodelled crewman, jaw open in obvious shock. Hazel throws her oprn back pack onto the floor next to the ball and more balls spill out from it.
“That’s about a quarter of your crew, right there.” Hazel says, matter of fact-ly and regaining the Captains attention, “You may have noticed I’ve snuck some people on board. We’d appreciate it if you don’t make a fuss and let us continue on with our journey to the City of Sorcerers. In return we’ll restore your crewmen. Do we have a deal?”
“O-of course… I assume this means we aren’t getting paid?” The Captain shakes a little before regaining his composure.
“That’s right. Unfortunately we aren’t in a position to pay you so we’ve had to resort to this.” She explained.
The Captain sighs and agrees to accommodate us. None of us notice the yellow eyes peering at us through the windows at the back of the room so we are unprepared for when those windows suddenly shatter instantaneously from the sound of a high pitched wail. We each duck, shielding our eyes and trying to cover our ears at the same time. As the ringing in our ears begins to fade we hear a wet scraping sound. A large, slimy brown tentacle sweeps across the floor, brushing glass and other debris to the side.
Our eyes follow the tentacle across the floor to the creature it belongs to which is slowly and eerily quietly climbing through the window. It is a large murky brown octopus with deep yellow eyes and a large bulbous head. A top its head we see a turquoise scaled porpoise tail that ends with wide feminine hips leading up to an alabaster colored navel. The white belly has a little roundness to it but is dwarfed by the ample bosoms above. Thick droplets of seawater roll down the soft, twin mountains, slipping into the deep valley between them or hanging precariously off of the thick nipples that serve as the cold pointy peaks. I could watch the water run down from these mountains for an eternity but I catch a toothy smirk out of the corner of my eye and look up towards it. My gaze is met with that of an angel with deep blue eyes and fiery red hair. I watch her heavy rose tinted lips move but it takes a moment to hear her voice.
“Hello,” the mermaid says, her voice as sweet as the angel she resembles, “That was a nice trick with the balls. I don’t suppose you know if those thingamabobs work under water?”
“Oh no!” the Captain gasps and turns his pistol on the mermaid, “It’s you!”
“You didn’t think you’d escape me did you? You dirt treaders are so foolish!” She giggles, her little tummy and large titties jiggling as she does so.
“Die sea bitch!” The Captain screams and pulls the trigger of his flintlock. The hammer falls sparking and igniting, sending a lead shot hurtling toward the sea dweller. It is batted out of the air in an instant by sweeping brown tentacle.
The Captains eyes bulge and he panics, desperately fumbling about to reload his pistol.
“Too bad you missed but I’m afraid you won’t be getting another chance.” The mermaid says sounding genuinely sympathetic as she raises her hand slowly towards him before unceremoniously dropping it down. The Captain drops to the floor in the same instant, seemingly dropping through the floor to the deck below, leaving only his empty clothes, like some kind of stage show trick. The octopus reaches another of its limbs across to the empty pile and with great finesse lifts a large greyish silver salmon fish from the clothing. The cephalopod holds the fish in the air in front of the mermaid who tilts her head to stare into the round eye of the flopping fish. With a pout and melancholy look in her eyes she says, “Perhaps living among a school of salmon will teach you to know better...”
“Back off fish tits!” Hazel shouts, her gun at eye level, barrel facing the mermaid, “I don’t care what your beef with him is but we need that fish to take us to the City of Sorcerers. Change him back and we won’t have to get rough with you.”
The mermaid laughs heartily and this time her smile seems a little less angelic and a little more devilishly.