“Ocho, put this little fishy somewhere safe while I teach this land whale some respect for the sea.” The mermaid says to her octopus companion, Ocho, who places a large glass bowl on the Captain’s table with one tentacle and pours a jug of salt water into it with another before unceremoniously dropping the salmon and former Captain into the bowl. The fish swam around the bowl before settling looking out of the glass, silently pleading to be restored.
“Who are you to call me a land whale with that fat belly?” Hazel opened up on the mermaid, letting loose a barrage of transparent shells that shattered against two of the octopuses empty tentacles. Ocho moved so fast to parry them that none of Hazels shells could meet their mark. The clear gloss began to spread up Ocho’s tentacles but with a swipe the substance slipped straight off of the cephalopods slimy skin.
The creature seemed frustrated with Hazel’s unyielding assault and swung a tentacle straight at her legs, gripping them tightly with its suction cups. She lowered her gun to shoot the tentacle but another slapped across her across the chest before wrapping around her. She dropped her weapon and Ocho lifted her into the air.
“Well, that was rather easy.” The mermaid said, disappointed. She lifted her hand, preparing to morph Hazel who wriggled and shook violently in Ocho’s arms, her shouts muffled by the tentacle wrapped across her mouth .
“Wait! We don’t need to fight each other, let us explain: There is an army of unstoppable clowns that can turn people into clowns and we need to get to the City of Sorcerers to stop or no-one will stop them and they’ll take over the world!” I desperately blurted out.
“How are you going to stop them if they’re unstoppable?” The mermaid asked puzzled at my explanation.
“Well, that’s what Hazel here was taking us to see some prophet for. She came from the future, that’s why she has this thing that can turn people into balls.” I said, lifting the Ballbuster cannon and presenting it to her.
Ocho grabbed it and handed it to the mermaid who looked it over, quizzically, before deciding,
“I shall believe you for now and let you go on your way though the Captain and this whatchamacallit stay with me. I will however lead you to the city you seek in his place… and you…”
The mermaid stared at Hazel, a wicked glint in her eye, “You I curse to take the form of a seal, every time you touch seawater, until you eat fish.”
With that the mermaid reached into the fishbowl where the former Captain swam, wetting her hand then she gently flicked a few small droplets towards Hazel’s face which instantly grew whiskers. Ocho released Hazel and she dropped to her hands and knees but quickly found she could no longer stand as her legs had already fused into a tail. She quickly began to fatten and grew dark fur, her fingers becoming webbed before turning completely into flippers.
“Enjoy your new blubber, land whale.” The mermaid looked down on the transforming woman splayed on the floor from atop her octopus companion. She had the smug, self-satisfied grin of a woman watching a rival being humiliated.
“Arf arf arf!” Hazel barked angrily and impotently at the cruelly smiling face that had cursed her which only served to delight the mermaid more.
“Ocho, a sardine, please?” The mermaid asked and Ocho obliged, holding a fresh pilchard above Hazel who tried to stand to reach it thought it was just out of reach. “Now, lets play a game!” she beamed, “When you can balance one of those human balls, that you made, on your nose you can have this tasty fish!”
Hazel barked what could have been any number of curse words but reluctantly began rolling a ball across the floor with her snout utterly failing to even lift it from the ground.
“You best keep trying whilst we sort your journey out. Ocho, to the Quarter deck or wherever it is they keep the steering whozit on this boat. Mister human, would you care to join me?”
"Certainly, madame... mermaid... My names Andrew by the way," I said, awkwardly.
"Pleased to meet you! I am Loriel but you may call me Lori." The mermaid smiled.