Thinking it would be fun, you pull up the "reality alteration" console and target yourself. You zoom into your full body map and click on the external urethral sphincter. What opens up is a window with 320 pages of data and facts. You hit Crtl+F and search,
"control"
Which grants you 39 pages. So you adjust it to,
"controlled by"
Which produces a mere 3 pages.
You skim through this data, about very minute details of how the external urethral sphincter is controlled, until you find the paragraph that goes,
"The external sphincter acts like a tap and keeps urine in the bladder. It is controlled by the pudendal nerve, which is controlled by the voluntary nervous system; under your control when to let it open."
Pleased to find what you're looking for, you erase the latter sentence there and replace it with,
>>When the bladder crosses the threshold of 7% full, it will have a 5% chance of releasing and not closing until effectively empty
When the bladder crosses the 15% threshold, it will have a 5% chance of releasing until effectively empty
At the 25% threshold, it will have a 20% chance
At the 50% or 60% threshold, it will have a 70% chance
At the 80% or 85% threshold, it will have a 90% chance, and come out exceptionally fast, and be easy to smell
At the 90% or 95% threshold, it will have a 95% chance, and come out exceptionally fast, and be easy to smell
At the 100% threshold, it will all come out unbelievably fast and be extremely warm and smellable
It should be noted, however, that every addition of 2% more bladder capacity will have a 10% chance of evacuation on top of the previous values<<
"There we go! That oughta be specific enough." You stretch your fingers a bit, Save this transformation as "Self Incontinence Package" and are about to hit 'Perform', when you realize that you should include #2 incontinence as well.
You Crtl+F search to highlight the muscles that hold back bowel movements, and make a group change. You decide to just copy paste the exact same figures from before, exempting the "2%" figure as bowel movements likely wouldn't find a statistic of that size to be relevant. You THEN hit 'Perfor'-WAIT WAIT, you almost forgot something.
"If this alters reality, my own memory would be altered with it." You say quietly to yourself.
You save the settings, and flip through the settings for a few minutes until you pick out the "exceptions" console. You hit the "people" tab within, and conveniently, the first on the list is yourself. Clicking on your icon, you are--again conveniently--given a new sub-window that has a few quick selections, including "Memory effect"; it provides the following options:
"Memory will be wholly altered to match the change"
"Matching memory will be added alongside the original, pre-alteration memory"
"Memory will be wholly altered to match the change temporarily, but the original, pre-alteration memory will resurface after [insert period of time]"
"Custom..."
You decide going with the second option will be most fun for now, so that's what you select.
Considering you may have still missed something vital, you add another exception,
"Alteration will revert after 1 week"
Then go to the memory section within THAT exception, and select,
"All memory of pre-alteration and post-alteration will be kept by Damien Stough"
You take a breath and grin, closing your eyes and hitting the button with your thumb.
You squirm and giggle in your seat as you feel your underwear poofing out into a diaper. You jump to your feet and push down your pants; they're typical, white, not-so-thick pharmacy fare. You run over to your dresser and see no underwear; and instead a few packages of diapers beside the dresser. Quickly, memories start to flood into your head.
You weren't responding to potty training at two, and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. You went to age four when your parents started figuring out how to raise you with this, and by six they and the doctors collectively gave up, especially helped by the fact that you never protested or complained about it. Your parents were very proud of your maturity about it. By seven, you were taught to change yourself (whereas it had usually been either your mom, or sometimes a nurse or babysitter), and when you were eight-and-a-half, you never were changed by someone else again (except when you were really sick at ages nine, eleven, and fourteen. Each of those ages had a period of 3 days, 1 day and 1 day respectively where you were too ill to do it, and were changed those days by your mom the first and third times, and by your sister the second.)
Your memory continues into middle school. You basically just raged back at any kids who made fun of you about it; calling them a storm of names until they cried. So it wasn't long before that was resolved. Things get really odd around this point, though, as your friendships become radically different. Six entire medium-scale friends you have, just never really talked to you in this timeline. Maybe a happenstance, or perhaps they were put off by your condition. Either way, they were replaced by 5 heavy-scale friends.
You almost lose your balance from how trippy this is: all of a sudden five whole people who you vaguely remember from school are now all close friends of yours, including 3 of which who you still see regularly; you know so much about them.
Your relationships changed as well. Once again, you've had fewer, but they were better. You didn't get a girlfriend at first until 14, but it lasted until right before the end of Junior year, ending on okay-ish terms. You then were single for a year and a half, until shortly after you turned 19, when you and a girl from Taekwondo started getting into one another.
Oh right, you started taking Taekwondo lessons when you were 15. God could these new memories at least come into your brain in order?
You didn't take business classes anymore, though. In the previous timeline, you were working on the bottom-rung of a sales department. You were really into going up the corporate ladder and basically devoting your life to that, and it was pretty satisfying, if not entirely fulfilling. So it's weird that you're now this guy who works out, is pretty good at martial arts and works as an inventory guy in the home and garden department of a distribution center.
You lift up your shirt and see some pretty well defined abs.
"Well! Um, wow." You let go of your shirt and start pacing the room. You walk over to the window and peek through the blinds.
It's odd, you don't feel that much or less satisfied about your life than you were before. You feel glad that you're doing something with your life and going SOMEwhere, but feel anxious about not having a specific direction, and very deeply troubled that you aren't really living a life your heart calls out for.
It makes sense that--in the original timeline--you were somewhat drawn to corporate power, from feeling like you didn't have money of your own as a kid, and how--in the new timeline--you were drawn to physical activity and making yourself look, act and feel good, from having an unsanitary medical condition.
You then stand still, rub your chin for a moment, and decide to yourself,