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Clemens the Snake: It's too legit to quit

added by makutamon 8 years ago O

While Clemens was checking his E-mail, he saw an email that was very strange. It was labeled Animalia: A first for many. Clicking on it, it showed a banner for Animalia Con., Las Vegas, NV., along with the message: I hope you consider coming, it's too legit to quit.

When he clicked on the banner, he was glad that he did, because some of the things advertised as new products and services for animal people was an oil that was supposed to help reptiles with shedding (dulling the itch, clearing the scales over the eyes, and making it easier to slough the skin), special soaps that could get scales clean without damaging them, lamps and "heat-suits" for reptiles who live in places with cold climates, something that could only be best described as "temporary tattoos for reptiles", as well as products commonly used for nail care, but adapted for reptiles. There were also several other products for animal people with fur, but those were less interesting.

The site that the banner led to also showed certain videos, such as a Shaolin martial artist who became a clouded leopard animal person in a martial arts duel with a Mexican martial artist who became a jaguar animal person; a video that showed several Vegas showgirls who were brightly colored tropical birds doing a very beautiful song and dance; a video showing a comedic duo seemingly based on Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner; and several acrobats who had become spider monkey animal people performing death-defying stunts.

The clothes that were shown on the site varied between bathing suits for furs, to cold weather outfits designed to keep animal people warm without overheating them, and also new outfits and gear for animal people in Law Enforcement.

One of the house designs shown on the website had both a regular human and an animal person based on an African elephant to show the scale of the house, obviously meant for elephant people.

One of the sports shown appeared to be football with a large number of fallen trees and rocks, while another seemed to be directed towards cheetahs.

The bodybuilding competition seemed to be directed toward bodybuilders who didn't want taking the animatrix serum to get in the way of their career, although those bodybuilders who became herbivorous animals had to find new sources of protein that didn't make them sick. The only rule for the competition was that no bodybuilder who wanted to compete had used or was using any steroids, anabolic or otherwise.

One of the movie posters seemed to be a classic spy flick, but the main characters were a male tabby cat as the protagonist and a female Russian Blue cat as the antagonist. Another seemed to be a version of the life of Theseus, with a bull person as the main antagonist, and with several enemies that Theseus encountered on his way to Athens as animal people.

The last thing he checked out was the talent show, which showed that a Flying Squirrel animal person took up the study of ninjutsu and was planning to show off at the talent show.

The e-mail was right in a way, it did seem legitimate, but what would Jenny think of it. But what he didn't know was that the group known as the Office of Strategic Sciences was behind the whole thing to make life better for animal people.


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