Time for the Two Towers
Suzanne really wanted to follow the story now, so she readily agreed with Nick's suggestion. To add to her anticipation and excitement, she promised that no matter what happens, she would not look at herself until it was over, and would leave the room only to use the bathroom.
"It's true," said Gimli "you don't see many Dwarf-women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Dwarf-men."
"It's the beards," Aragorn whispered to Eowyn.
" And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf-women, and that Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!" said Gimli. "Which is, of course, ridiculous."
Suzanne's hand went instinctively to her face. Good thing I was talking about my feet, she thought. Apparently facial hair was uncommon for hobbits, male or female. As the Two Towers progressed, she could feel the occasional tickle on her feet, her ankles, the lower portion of her leg. She kept her word to herself though - no looking no matter what.
She took her elevenses as the Battle of the Hornburg, Helm's Deep was about to get underway, a couple of hamburgers and a diet cola. She didn't have to look to realize that she was slightly shorter now, and she had to admit that she was somewhat unnerved to be noticing a familiar itching both under her armpits and between her legs, as well as her lower legs definitely higher than her ankles.
I won't look, I won't look...
The battle engaged. Sarumon's forces appeared to be fighting a losing battle until the explosion breached the wall, allowing the orcs and Uruk-hai to pour in through the hole.
"Twenty-seven....twenty-eight...twenty-nine."
She thought Orlando Bloom's display of shield surfing was a riot.
"Final count, forty-two." said Legolas.
"Forty-two?" retorted Gimli. Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE".
Legolas then nocked an arrow, and shot the Uruk-hai that Gimli was sitting pretty upon. "Forty-three."
"He was already dead!" Gimli declared indignantly
"He was twitching."
"He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!!"
Eventually, the Two Towers came to a close:
"But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."
What are we holding onto, Sam?
"That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for."
Suzanne wiped away a tear. They're adorable, she thought, Sam, Frodo, Merry and Pip. And I'm going to look like them - at least for awhile. Suzanne held firm to the resolution not to look at herself, but she couldn't help but think that surely there were parts of Hobbit anatomy that Tolkien left out, either from not knowing or just that it wasn't really appropriate for a family friendly book. She took a deep breath just considering the notion.
"Do you want to take a break, Sue?" asked Nick. Or do you want to forge ahead?