The policeman didn’t bother to handcuff me. He led me ever so carefully to his car and gently forced me into the back. I think he was afraid to touch me. I saw him go into the trunk of the car and pull something out. He opened the back door and tossed a heavy garment at me. “Put that on now,” he commanded sternly. I saw that it was a tan trench coat which appeared to be large enough to cover the offending areas of my body.
The policeman got into the front seat of his car and started to drive. As I struggled to put the coat on while sitting down, I asked, “I’m sorry to bother you, officer, but does this happen so often that you have this coat on standby in your car? And if so, how many times have you had to use it?” I was not really surprised that my question was met with silence. The policeman didn’t even glance at his mirror to look back at me. I decided it would be a good idea to finish this ride in silence.
About five minutes later we arrived at a precinct. The policeman politely but sternly told me to get out of the car when he opened the door. I had to respect the fact that he wasn’t being a dick about what I’d done. Or rather, what he’d arrested me for. I did suspect that he was annoyed by having to go through this process with me.
He had me wait on a bench inside the precinct while he filled out some papers. Then I had to answer some questions and have my fingerprints taken. They put me in a holding cell with some other unsavory characters. As these people began to eye me, I remembered that I could probably get myself out of this situation with the ring. After all, the woman couldn’t still possibly be watching me, could she?
I had been in the holding cell for about ten minutes when I sensed that one of my cellmates, a large man clad in biker gear, was about to start talking to me. That was not a conversation I wanted to have. But then one of the other policemen from the desk at the precinct came over to the cell. “You, Nature Boy, you’re bailed out,” he said.
“Me?” I asked him disbelievingly.
“That’s what I said, now come on,” he said impatiently.
That was all I needed to hear. I got up form my seat as quickly as I could. I just had to sign a few papers, including a voucher promising that I would return the coat, and I was free to go. I almost felt like skipping for some reason. Sure I was going to have to pay some kind of a fine, and maybe some worse consequences, but at least I wasn’t in jail anymore. I exited the precinct and stood at the top of the steps on the outside. I took a deep breath of fresh air and started to make my way down the steps. When suddenly…