“So what else do you want me to try to do?” I asked.
“It says that you should have good fighting skills, so we want to test those,” said Allan.
This was the least fun of all the tests, mostly because it was a lot of hard, tough, physical work. But I did enjoy finding out that I could really handle meself in a fight. Allan said that my punches and kicks measured at a very high level of force. I think that meant they would really hurt someone. I did manage to kick the heads off of a few test dummies with some roundhouse kicks. We also found out that me titties and me bum came in handy during a fight. I could use them like they were fists. It was funny because I felt like I had no control over them and yet I felt like I had total control over them. We also found out that me hair could be useful in a fight as it could reach out and grab things. I had fun wrapping me long tresses around a dummy's neck and squeezing it as hard as I could.
“Now that we know your powers, we need to pick out a name for you,” said Victoria. “It should be something that reflects both your powers and your personality.”
“How about The Big Boobed Bimbo?” said Bradley.
“How about I kick your fat head off your fat neck, you bloody tosser?” I shouted.
“Bradley, stay out of this,” Victoria said to him angrily. “And you just calm down a little,” she said to me.
“I can't help it!” I yelled. “That really hurt! I'm not some kind of bimbo! It’s not my fault I look this way, it's that Joe's fault!”
“That is what we need to examine,” said Victoria. “Do you remember what I told Joe about how alter egos are created?”
I had to think pretty hard about that. It was bloody weird to pull up memories that didn't belong to me. “I don't know, those aren't my memories. They're Joe's. It's not like we're the same person,” I said.
Victoria said, “But in a way you are the same person. You have access to the same memories, the same thought patterns. Just try to think hard and concentrate and you should be able to remember things that I have said to Joe.”
“OK,” I said, “I'll try.” I thought hard again for a minute and then I had the answer. “Right, didn't you say something about fears and opposites, about alter-egos being something that the person is not?”
“Exactly,” said Victoria. “Now what do you know about Joe? What are his main features?”
I answered, “I dunno, he's pretty average, innit he? Oh, well, I guess he isn't average in the fact that he's got…well, you know…a big todger.”
Victoria asked, “You mean he has a large…”
“Yea, that's what I mean,” I said. Then it hit me. “Oh, I gets it. That's the only thing about himself that he thinks is worth anything, so he's afraid of losing it. So I s’pose that’s why I ended up a woman.”
“Good, let us keep going from there,” said Victoria.
“Well there's just not really much to him, ya know? Just that nice big knob of his,” I said.
“But think about that,” said Victoria. “Bradley seems to think you look like a bimbo, but you say you are not a bimbo.”
“And I'm not!” I shouted.
Victoria nodded and said, “Right. So why do you think you look like what other people think a bimbo looks like?”
“Not just look like a bimbo, sound like one, too,” said Bradley. Victoria shot him a nasty look. “I’m just saying, I’m not being a jerk.”
“I think he actually has a point,” I said.
Victoria focused on me again. “Fine, think about the answer to my question,” she said.
That question was another tough one. “Because Joe thinks this is what a bimbo looks and sounds like?” I asked.
“Keep going,” she said. “Remember the part about being afraid.”
“Blimey!” I exclaimed. “Joe's afraid that other people might think he's a bimbo because the only good thing about him is his knob.”
“There you go,” she said. “You are a buxom looking woman because that is exactly the opposite of what Joe is. And Joe is afraid of being thought of as a bimbo so that is why you look like what he thinks one is. Basically, you are everything he is not and everything he is afraid to be.”
“Wait, are you saying I am a bimbo?” I asked.
She shook her head and said, “No. You have the same intelligence level that Joe has, which means you are average. Just because you are average does not make you a bimbo.”
“I still say ‘Bimbo’ is a good name,” said Bradley. He looked at Victoria and said “You just said that that's what she's supposed to represent.”
Victoria looked worried that I would snap at him. However I thought he made a good point. I said, “I think he's right. Maybe my name should reflect that. But I'm not using that word ‘bimbo.’ Victoria, you said I'm buxom or something like that didn't you?” Victoria nodded. “How about I use that word in my name? And another name that begins with ‘B.’ Something that sounds like it’s out of those mags.”
Bradley called out, “How about Bambi?”
I thought he might have said Barbie. But I liked the sound of Bambi. “Yea, that's it,” I said. “I'm Bambi Buxom.”
“Are you absolutely sure that is what you want?” asked Victoria.
“Too right,” I said. “I dunno, but I just love the sound of it.”
Victoria said, “Very well. Welcome to the team, officially, Bambi Buxom. Now let us get you a costume.”