I had an hour before I'd need to return for the tray, which for the most part would give me roughly an hour before I'd need to return to where Lartara would be having the Eira and I train. From what she had told me before Jinara had interrupted my training, Eira and I were supposed to get started on some of the physical training, which I thought amounted to either wrestling for potential hand to hand combat or stalking to be able to ultimately hunt. I'd only need to break from that when it was time to take lunch to Amanda. For today there didn't seem to be anything special planned, and from what I'd studied on Lycothan protocol, if Jinara did decide to schedule Amanda for something, she'd have to send someone for the guard assigned to Amanda, which was now me. So, I'd have an hour before I'd need to return for training.
However, talking with Amanda had left me concerned. She seemed like she might accept the gift, but it was more of a conflicted signal. I could remember that from before I became Harkaal. The Alphas had been campaigning for Amanda to join them, and knowing Jinara's tactics, that meant the intention was to break Amanda's will to be Amanda rather than giving her a real reason to want to change. And they had been breaking her. I remembered that while she had been defiant in the last group session, it was getting weaker. While I did wish to see her become an Alpha and rejoin her sister now that I was Harkaal, I felt that "breaking" her wasn't the way. Amanda had no reason to want to change and had only seen me as a friend taken away from her. She had identified me as being just "another one of them." She had asked if I was happy, and I honestly said that I was, but a lot of her responses to that gave me the indication that whatever Jinara was doing to break Amanda, it was working.
My thoughts and concerns where what then determined what I intended to do before going back for the tray. I knew Amanda wanted to remain human and I knew she was conflicted over the fact that her biological sister was one of the Alphas campaigning for her and that Jinara had the intention of breaking her. That didn't sit right with me. I wanted her to change, but I wanted her to chose to change and to want to change. Breaking her wouldn't mean she'd want to change a part of me thought that would be troublesome. The Lycothans had won the war and Earth would be theirs. I simply didn't see breaking people as a wise move, regardless of whether or not I remembered being Haley. There was no reason for that, as there wasn't anything that humans could do reverse the invasion.
But Jinara was still in charge of the facility, and she would surely continue to try to break Amanda, and wouldn't be above breaking others in order to try to get Amanda to break. And based on what I had learned from Jaxar and Nillara, things couldn't be changed until Amanda changed and Jinara was promoted out of the facility, letting Nillara replaced Jinara and Amanda replaced her sister in charge of the female wing. It would mean that Amanda would have to accept the gift as I had, but in order to protect the other prisoners, she would have to want to change and the only way that I felt that would convince Amanda to want to change would be to have Amanda talk directly with her sister. It would be somewhat akin to my own curiosity being raised when I figured out that Lartara remembered being Lara.
As such, I then made my way into the administrative area of the facility, which at the moment was fairly busy. Part of the training over the past two days had also included some training with maps of the facility. I'd learned the layout of the facility, but still wasn't familiar with it. The result was that I probably looked rather lost to some of the Servants and even lower ranking Alphas as they went about their work, though as I made my way through the halls, no one stopped me. I thus managed to eventually find myself outside the office I was looking for. I quickly knocked on the door.
"Enter," came Nillara's from inside.
I entered to a quiet office to find Nillara seated behind a futuristic looking desk and looking at something on a computer. She slowly looked up as I entered and stood at attention in front of her desk.
"Warrior Recruit Harkaal," Nillara said slowly, "I take it you have something to report to me?"
I nodded and looked around the room, as if to see if there was any sort of listening device. I didn't see anything that might be a listening device. There were a few pictures, that looked like they were of an electronic/holographic nature that depicted Nillara and Jaxar together.
"Yes," I said carefully, "is it safe in here?"
"Relatively, though Jinara as my superior can come in," Nillara answered calmly, "What is it you wish to report?"
I took a deep breath and sighed heavily before I answered.
"Yours and Jaxar's concerns were correct with what Alpha Jinara would do with me..." I said slowly, making Nillara blink, "and regarding your sister."
"She's assigned you as her guard?" Nillara asked calmly, though a tone in her voice gave me the indication that she was doing her best to hide personal concern and not sound worried, "How fairs your training?"
"I believe I am progressing well, Alpha Nillara," I reported, "Though... the orders I've been given... have the potential to slow my training down."
Nillara gave a heavy sigh and sat back in her chair. Her gaze seemed to look through me.
"As an Alpha, I will tell you you need to focus on your training and make up for whatever time you miss," Nillara spoke, "that is a rule. You are a Warrior, Warrior Recruit Harkaal. And regardless of whatever wrongs or mistakes you see in our protocol and our methods, you have to accept them until those of us who are Alphas and in positions to determine Lycothan policy can change that policy..."
"I will and have followed protocol," I answered, "I did nothing that would deviate from that with Prisoner 995403."
It sounded like both Nillara and I were trying to make sure no one thought we weren't like any other Lycothan.
"Good," Nillara answered, "Now... how close is she to accepting the gift?"
"I cannot truly say, Alpha," I answered, "She seems conflicted and resistant to Alpha Jinara's efforts... but at the same time... her strength and wish to resist seems to be fading. Whatever Alpha Jinara has done, including my transformation, to break her is showing some signs of progress."
Nillara only answered me with a sigh, which I really couldn't tell one of relief or frustration.
"And I apologize if I am out of turn here, Alpha Nillara," I continued, "but I don't think breaking her is the wisest idea. Even with Alpha Jinara's games to break my past form, Prisoner 992014, I did accept the gift and when Captain Lartara gave it to me... I honestly WANTED to change then. My Captain's "tolerance" and "patience" with me were what lead me to accept the gift and want to change... to become what I am now."
Nillara slowly nodded, and I got the feeling that she did understand my statement.
"If we simply break Prisoner 995403..." I continued, "She may not become "best" Alpha she can be. And she fears she'd lose herself and become a monster."
"And what you, a Warrior Recruit have ME do?" Nillara asked.
"I do not presume to give you orders, Alpha," I answered, "I am merely reporting what I have noticed. I will do my best to convince her that we aren't monsters..."
Nillara looked around her own office and then said calmly, "But?"
"But we might get the best results if you talk with her directly," I spoke, "she feels that you aren't her sister anymore... But if you show her you do honestly care for her... that you want her to join you as an Alpha is for more than just further the plans for Earth... Show her that you are still her sister..."
"And she would want to change, as you did?" Nillara asked.
"I believe so," I spoke, and while I tried to keep my voice's volume low, I couldn't really hide the pleading tone in it, "But only if you can show that you truly are both Alpha Nillara and her sister Nellie... otherwise... all we'll end up doing is breaking her. Don't let them break her, Alpha Nillara."
Nillara only nodded but didn't say anything for a moment.