This Master's name was Davis, and he was a lot on the chubby side, but trying to hide it with a poorly fitted suit. About thirty years old with short buzzed brown hair and the kind of B.O. that made me want to crawl back into my lamp. I was going to be doing Master a big favor.
"Hello Master!" I boomed at him. "I am the genie of the lamp. While you own the lamp, you own me. I can grant any wish you can think of with two exceptions: I can't bring back the dead, and I can't make someone fall in love with you."
He looked confused for a second. "What about the third rule. No wishing for more wishes."
"But Master, you have as many wishes as you desire. I don't know why you'd wish for more, but there's no rule that says you can't."
Master wasn't so sure about using my power. He expected it to backfire on him, like he'd say the wrong word and then he'd suddenly be a panda bear with no front teeth. For the first few wishes, he was very, very careful.
"Genie," he said cautiously. "I'm ready to make a wish."
"Yes Master! What is your command?"
He read the wish off a little piece of paper, making sure he said all the words clearly. "I wish I always had a hundred dollars in my wallet."
I took a moment and decided on my change. I added the phrase ‘condom and five'. I crossed my arms and nodded my head sharply.
Time jumped back a few seconds in the house, and Master read his wish to me again. "I wish I always had a condom and five hundred dollars in my wallet," he read the sentence in a very clear voice from where it was inscribed in ink.
"Your wish is my command!" I crossed my arms and nodded my head. When he checked his wallet, he found $500 and a new condom that hadn't been there seconds earlier. It was tucked in the little pocket beside the dusty condom that expired in 2003.
He took the money and the condom out, then closed the wallet. When he opened it again, there was more money, and another condom.
"Genie, that was amazing," gushed Master. If he thought that was incredible, it was going to blow his mind when we got to the bigger wishes.