"Professor Dietrich?" you say in surprise.
"Very good, Mr- er, I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name. What's this new cow-boy called now?"
"This one I'm calling Tanya."
"Very good, Tanya. Too bad your answers weren't correct in my class. I guess I was too boring for you to learn anything," the professor hissed in your ear.
"Oh, damn, you read my review!" you gasp.
"Yes, I did, Tanya, that's why I sent you that free ferry ticket to this island."
"You did?"
"Oh, yes, and now I'm going to show you boring. You see you still have the virgin ass of a 21 year old college boy, but I have the cock of a bull. So this is going hurt, but it will hurt good and make you blow your four loads. After a few weeks, you'll even enjoy it."
"Noooo!" you feel a wet rubbery baseball bat push between your butt cheeks.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" you scream