“Ah, welcome, welcome! I’ve been expecting you. I’m Eric Johnson. You could say I’m the big boss around here” The man said, extending his hand and giving you a hard handshake that nearly crushed your hand.
“Pleased to meet you, sir. I’m…” The other man laughed, interrupting you. “Put yourself at ease, boy” Mr. Johnson said as he drew a cigarette. “You want one?” he asks. “Hm, no, thank you, sir” you reply feeling uneasy.
What kind of employer was this? You were expecting something more sophisticated than this. Was the man mocking you? Testing you in a stressful and awkward event? Argh but that disgusting cigarette smoke was really irritating your nose and eyes.
“Well, as I say, we are a small but firm company, a family of sorts. When I started up I was a kid, much like yourself” You were by no means a “kid” but you let that pass by. After all one should never interrupt their possible employer when they speak and you find it easy to ignore the man’s personal story as you keep focusing on that disgusting cigarette, up in the man’s big mouth or waving around as he spoke.
You don’t seem to notice but your breathing got faster, unconsciously trying to inhale as much smoke as you can. After a while the smoke stopped being so irritating and more… appealing.
“… so yeah, that’s the story of our truck delivery company”.
Wait… truck delivery? Weren’t you scheduled for an accounting job in some multi-millionaire firm? What was it called anyway?
“So, tell me about yourself, Jeremy” Mr. Johnson asked.
Feeling distracted by what is going on, you did not even notice the man had got your name wrong. You sit in a firm pose, following all the rules you ever read about speaking during job interviews.
“I’m a cool guy. I like to work, especially physical work I’m not that good at papers and stuff. I…” You suddenly stop, having just processed what you are saying. This is all wrong. This isn’t the right job, the right employer and even you are not being yourself! You scratch your usually smooth face but in shock you realise you have a short beard. “This can’t be happening” you mutter.
“What was that, son? Couldn’t quite catch that. Mr. Johnson said, hiding a smile as he inhaled from his cigarette and blew the smoke on you. “You sure you don’t want one?” You look at the man and see him offering a cigarette.
Your hand seemed to move on its own as when you finally notice, not only did you take the cigarette as it is already hanging in your mouth. Your hand then begins looking for something in your suit trousers’ pockets but doesn’t find anything. You don’t know what you’re looking for but you know you always keep it in your pockets. As you search, the fabric of the trousers changes and you find yourself wearing dark jeans but the best part is that you finally find the lighter in your pocket and proceed to light up your cigarette.
“This is the shit” you think as you take a big drag. “Thank you, sir”. “No problem. Now, Jeremy, you were saying?” Mr. Johnson asked.
“Oops, sorry sir. Yeah, so I dropped out of college, man. I never knew why I went there to begin with. My parents had insisted, but it wasn’t for me. I don’t have the smarts, you know? But a guy needs a job, you know? Gotta provide for the kid.”
Your judgement seems numbed by the tobacco. You can’t even understand what you are saying anymore. However as you spoke, the rest of the suit changed as well. Your expensive leather shoes became old worn tennis shoes and you found yourself wearing a cheap mossy green shirt instead f your expensive and sophisticated shirt and jacket.
“A father, huh? You seem too young for that”.
“Sir” your voice became deeper and assertive with a distinct street slang “my baby boy hasn’t been born yet. I’m 21 but I’ll be a good example for my child”. As you said that your face began to change. Your bones reshaped, his jaw became square and his nostrils wider. Your pale white skin darkened a bit, as you ended up with a natural tan due to being outside so much. You take a final drag on your cigarette before dropping it in the ashtray. Despite getting younger, you actually start looking more manly and mature.
“That says a lot about you, Jeremy. We are always looking for men willing to commit. You see, kid. We’re a family as well. And don’t worry about college and that nonsense. You certainly don’t need to be a smart to drive around and deliver some packages, do you?”
Suddenly your own judgement returns “NO! This can’t be!” You try to yell but you mouth does no longer obey you. “Yeah, I’m not into reading papers and shit, I like action!” You say. For a second your body tingles as your body grows a few inches, your feet and hands begin expanding and your inexistent muscles bulk up a little so that no one would ever doubt you were an athletic guy. At the same time, your mind becomes lazy. It takes you a bit to think. Even your vast knowledge seems to be shrinking. All your hours of intense study begin disappearing from your mind, instead memories of hanging out with your friends playing soccer come out of nowhere. Hours in the library, writing essays disappeared and in its place you remember dating a bunch girls, kissing and fucking.
“No, I can’t be… this. I am… fuck. Who am I?” You ask out loud.
“Who are you?” Mr. Johnson asked with a sly grin as he rose from his chair and put his hands on your shoulders. “My boy Jeremy, you are our newest employee!”
A feeling of happiness flows through you and the last changes occur. Your hair turns darker and darker until it becomes a deep black. A tribal tattoo appears on your muscular left shoulder and a five pointed star comes up out of nowhere on your right elbow. On your left ear, an earring pops up as well.
All your doubts and questions seem to evaporate into nothingness. “Thank you, sir. Thank you! I’ll do my best. Shit, I swear I will”.
“Atta boy, Jeremy. Stop by tomorrow. We’ll show you the ropes”. Mr. Johnson said, shaking Jeremy’s hand with a strong grip, a grip Jeremy also returned.
Jeremy walked out the door happy. He found a job and his boss seemed like a great man. Sure he was probably the youngest at work but he figured that as he was raising a family at home, he would also become part of a family himself at his new job.