The magician points at Brom. "May I have a volunteer?"
Brom sits there looking around for someone else to volunteer. Something in the magicians voice makes him want to volunteer but Brom never volunteers for any of these stupid magic shows.
"Then this is a challenge. Come up here and show everyone how stupid my magic is."
Brom stood up. The magician pulled out an ironing board and an iron. It looked like an ordinary ironing board. Brom pointed at it. "What are you going to do, impress us by making wrinkles disappear?"
"Young man, you have a wrinkle on your shirt. That will never do. Now lay down on the ironing board and let's get you straightened out."
Brom laughed and tried to lay on the ironing board. He was careful because he didn't want the ironing board to crash under his massive weight. He kept both feet on the floor just incase but he was surprised that the ironing board didn't creak or seem to bend in the slightest.
The magician made a show of how hot the iron was by splashing it with drops of water and watching them sizzle away. Brom saw this and said, "Be careful you don't burn me."
"I never burn the laundry. I've been doing this for longer than you can imagine."
The magician put the iron on Brom's chest and began ironing. It felt very warm to Brom but comfortable. The steam from the iron soaked through his shirt quickly and in only a few strokes, Brom's torso was smooth. The magician paused for a moment to let the audience gasp.
"Excuse me, magician sir."
"I told you my name is Andre Hess but you were too drunk to care."
"Mr. Hess, how'd you do that? Where's my body?"
"Your body is right there on the ironing board and a magician never reveals his secrets."
Mr Hess resumed ironing the muscle bound jock and soon Brom's right arm was as flat as his chest. Brom used his left hand to pick up his right arm. "This is my arm. You're really flattening me."
"No, son, it's just an illusion. All magic is just an illusion. When you sober up, you'll be fine."
Brom laughed, "Give me another beer then and continue."
Mr. Hess pulled Brom's legs onto the ironing board and ironed them flat. Then Mr. Hess unbuckled Brom's pants and slid his pants and underwear down. With his one usable hand, Brom managed to grab the magicians hand and tried to stop him. "What are you doing?"
Mr. Hess looked deep into Brom's eyes and said, "What's a party without party favors?"
Brom's hand couldn't hold out and the magician grabbed Brom's flattened penis holding it up for everyone to see. "Here's the first party favor for the night. The winner of the next game get's to take this home. Isn't that right Brom." Mr Hess took another sip of his special liqueur and breathed deeply blowing the fragrance into Brom's nostrils.
"Right? uh, party favor, right."
Mr. Hess continued to strip Brom and then turned him over on his chest. "And Brom, here's your zipper." Mr. Hess held a three foot long zipper for Brom to see.
"Zipper?"
"How do you expect anyone to wear you if you don't have a zipper? Do you want them to stretch your jaw out of shape trying to squeeze into you?"
"Oh, zipper, I need a zipper."
The magician laid the zipper along Brom's spine from his anus to the top of his head. Then he ironed Brom's remaining hand.
"Any last comments tonight?"
"I worked hard on this body. Whoever borrows it please take care of it. I want it back in this condition."
Mr. Hess than finished the job and opened Brom's zipper to display the new body suit.