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The Magic Shop

The Riding Crop of Punishment

added 7 years ago O

The bell to shop rang, and the clerk seemed to appear from thin air next to Mr. Bradshaw.

"How may I help you?"

"Ahem, sorry didn't see you there," Bradshaw said jumping slightly with a start. He seemed disconcerted.

The clerk held out a jar of Tiger Balm saying, "Perhaps some Tiger Balm? I find men of your age do appreciate its benefits."

"No, uh," Bradshaw said, "Just let me look around first." Then a moment later, he said, "Why don't you put the Tiger Balm on the counter, I may get it too."

The clerk's eyes widened, but did as instructed. It was unheard of - a multiple sale? Was it possible? Was it wise? Oh, the havoc! The shop owner would be thrilled. Maybe a bonus?

Bradshaw actually picked up a shopping basket, he didn't notice the spider web trailing from it, but the clerk did. While Bradshaw rummaged around, the clerk dusted the shopping baskets.

"Hm?" Bradshaw said picking up a riding crop. It whistled through the air as he swung it, and he smiled. "Yes, this will do." He put it in the basket.

He frowned, he hated shopping. As long as he was shopping though, he might as well do as much shopping as he needed to in one place. He needed a gift for his boss. He thought about his boss, and found himself drawn to a glass paperweight. He put it in the basket.

Then decided he would get something for Clarice, the woman always made everyone at work a birthday cake, and her birthday was tomorrow. He picked up a box of candy that looked fancy for her. He knew she would share it, so he'd get a piece or two.

Then he saw the carton of jockstraps, and grinned. Good old fashioned jockstraps, no fancy colors or designer features. Half the players on the team he coached wore compression shorts, the rest wore regular underwear, only a handful had jockstraps and they were the fancy kind. Yes, he would make them all wear these jockstraps as part of their uniforms. He'd tell them it was a new league safety requirement. He grinned, and hefted the carton to his shoulder. He carried it over to the clerk, and set it on the counter along with the items in his basket. The clerk's eyes widened, he hadn't seen that box of chocolates before, the store was up to something.

"Is that everything for you, sir?" the clerk asked brightly starting to tally up the items.

"No, you know I think I am forgetting something? You can pack that lot up for me, but I'll probably be getting one more thing," Bradshaw said.

He was in a strangely generous mood. It was odd. He detested his boss, but he knew a gift was expected, so he had gotten it. Clarice was terribly annoying at the office, except for the cakes she brought for birthdays, he considered her a waste of space. As to the two-bit athletes he was assigned to coach, they rarely won a game, and were all about sportsmanship and having fun. He really wanted to teach them a lesson or two. Yet here he was buying them all gifts. So naturally, his attention turned to his younger brother, to his ex-wife and to his estranged son. He soon had three more items in the now empty basket, and was back at the counter with his wallet out.

"How much do I owe?"

The clerk's eyes widened the carton held 48 jockstraps, the lead crystal paperweight was an antique, the riding crop was an antique, and the candy were truffles, and now these items. The pencil flew, the clerk's teeth gritted, it had been ages since the clerk had done any math. The total was $99.99 with tax.

"Don't forget the Tiger Balm," Bradshaw said noticing the jar wasn't wrapped, "How much is that?"

"Right," said the clerk with a smile, "Since you're purchasing so much, I'll let you have the tiger balm for one cent on top the other items. That will be $100."

"Really? That's a relief, I don't shop very much, all I have in my wallet is $100, and I just noticed you don't take plastic. Rely to much on that stuff these days," Bradshaw said with a grin as he hefted the box that the clerk had prepared with the carton of jockstraps, the wrapped paperweight, the bagged riding crop and box of candy, and the other items.

"Thank you and come again," said the clerk automatically.

"Thank you, I'll be back."

The clerk was more than a bit perturbed as the bell rang on Mr. Bradshaw's exit. Fifty-four items sold to one person, that was a record. They never got repeat customers as a rule, but the clerk wondered if the man would be back as a repeat customer. Each jockstrap counted as one item, and as the clerk noted the sales on the inventory log, the clerk realized something even more disturbing. The price tags on the last 3 items had been clearly visible, but the objects looked blurry, and the clerk wasn't sure what they were. Obviously, Bradshaw had seen something in each, but since the items were gifts they would take shape only when the recipient looked upon them. The clerk wondered if Bradshaw was a wizard or witch or something. He didn't seem the type, but that might have been an illusion? Probably not, the store tended to rip disguise spells off when the magic door bell rang. The clerk recalled three jetsetters who entered a week ago, and had promptly been revealed as hags. They were quite upset, even more so when the clerk offered them the products in the store that seemed to be destined for them (like the Tiger Balm which the clerk could see glowing when Bradshaw entered the shop). They were adamant about what they wanted, and they carefully handled the items with gloved hands, as if each were cursed (which they were).

"Are you sure, you wouldn't like this mirror?" the clerk offered the nearest hag. The hag stared into the glass, her sisters yanked her away.

"No?" "No!' "No!" they shrieked as they fled the shop with their purchases.

Then the clerk noticed the two guys who were staring across the shop.

"Rather impressive costumes, don't you think? I wouldn't be surprised if we don't have something as impressive for you two to wear. Seems that the Halloween parties start earlier and earlier each year."

The two young men did purchase costumes, but that's another thread.

Still the idea of repeat customers - even one repeat customer was a bit novel. Perhaps the hags were repeat customers, they might have been those sorority girls that came in to the store in 'O5 - 1905, they were wanted to be Shakespearean actresses. Best not to ponder such things. The shop bell rang again. An overweight young man entered wearing an American Werewolf in London t-shirt.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bradshaw was positively beaming. He was sure that the clerk had undercharged him. Those jockstraps alone were worth over one hundred bucks. Still it was old merchandise, perhaps it had never been repriced? The clerk had done the totals long hand without a calculator. Bradshaw looked at the sales slip after loading the box into his Buick.


"Aloysius Harvey Bradshaw," read the sold to line. How the hell? Bradshaw was sure he hadn't recognized the clerk, but obviously the clerk knew him. He always went by A. H. Bradshaw, or maybe Lou, but never by his full name. Maybe the clerk saw his driver's license when he opened his wallet. Yes, that must've been it. He continued to read the slip:

"48 Jockstraps -$48," he read, and snorted, "A dollar a jockstrap, what a deal."

Then next line:

"Antique Riding Crop - $16.66," he read, and said, "Hm?"

"Crystal Paperweight- $16.66," he read, and said, "Boss will think I spent $50 to a hundred."

"Box of Candy-$5.34," he read, and said, "Dang, I should've gotten more. Definitely, going back to this shop and get those for Christmas."

"Item #13, Item#23 and Item#666 -$13.33," he read, and exclaimed, "Aha, that stupid clerk forgot to bill me for two of those items. Odd they're the only ones listed by stock number? Hm?"

"Tiger Balm- Promotional Price with Purchase $0.01," he read triumphantly.

He started his car and headed home to his rooms at Beckham Academy. He liked to think of it as a reformatory school, the headmaster his boss did not.


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