"I wish I knew what to do!" I muttered.
The old lady who had given me the ring suddenly appeared. She was laughing.
"You haven't figured it out yet?"
"Figured what out?" Everything around us was frozen.
"Dude, you saw an attractive woman. Thanks to your wishes, a few hours later she has a flat chest and a penis. That isn't how it usually works when a straight guy gets a wishing ring."
"What do you mean?"
The old lady sighed. "I am the spirit of the ring. One thing I've learned over the millenia is that very, very few wishes are actually mistakes. You want to fix this? Repeat after me: I wish"
"I wish"
"that Cynthia"
Wait a second, I thought, she has a name?. The old lady, or spirit of the ring, shot me a dirty look.
"that Cynthia"
"is happy with a flat chest and penis"
"is happy with a flat chest and penis"
"and has a prescription for testosterone"
"and has a prescription for testosterone"
"and is my hunky, dominant boyfriend"
Wait, what? I thought, as my lips repeated "and is my hunky, dominant boyfriend."
Suddenly the world starting moving again.
Cynthia turned her--her? head in my direction and gave a wolfish grin.
"I can hardly wait to get you home and really see if this thing lives up to the hype."
With a shock I realized that I could hardly wait either.