You plop back down in your custom recliner with the slot for your demon fox tail. With your feet up, you turn on the TV, and a black tankard of brew appears in your hand with a snap.
A guy dressed like an angel on the TV screen? Must be a commercial. You change channels. Fuck, he's on every channel. Hey, he looks familiar. The insane football player?
You stop changing channels and turn the volume up.
"Thank you. Yes, it's me Josh! After you disappeared through that disappearing door, I went through the white one. Next thing I know I've got this stupid halo, and wings. And this guy in a shiny black messenger uniform hands me this letter. It's my orders, I'm a fucking Guardian Angel in the Army of God, and these are my orders!" He shakes the paper and glares at you, as if it's all your fault.
"So, Josh? You're a friggin' angel, you should be in heaven playing a harp or something?"
Josh brandishes his now gleaming golden axe at you through the TV screen.
"I'm your fucking Guardian Angel. And you've been devouring souls and casting people into hell right and left. I just finished convincing that lady you blasted earlier that you were just an hallucination brought on by a magic mushroom, and you go and blast two more guys. They might have repented. You can just devour every soul with a bad thought or impulse, you have to give them a chance to repent."
"So what's with the Skyping, can't you manifest in front of me? Or are you afraid this demon avenger will whip your lily white angel ass?"
"Angels are invisible as a rule. I've been yakking at you for the last 30 minutes before I decided to telechat. Don't you ever listen to your conscience?"
"Yeah, it said to eat those dudes."
"Uh, yeah, well, maybe your conscience needs to listen more then. Anyway, I don't want to fight you, in fact, I don't think I can. See, I am your Guardian Angel. I have to protect you. Probably, cause I knocked you into that hole, and chased you through the demon door," Josh says with a sigh. "I'm sorry I freaked out, I just was so scared. I now know you were too."
"Apology accepted, now I wanna watch wrestling, so you mind?" you say waving your hand for him to get out of the TV.