"I dunno. What about the fags?"
Loki smiled at the boy, petting him on the head. "Yes, yes," Loki crooned, "What. About. The fags. Well, why don't you follow me and we can find out." Loki walked up onto the stage with the frat boy following behind him like a dog. He went to center and snapped at the boys standing under the green light. They all quickly moved into a line near the front of the stage, with Loki walking in front of them.
"Ten little gaybies. How precious. Let's take this slowly, shall we?" Loki moved behind the frat members. "Just to clarify, how many of you are gay. Like, wanna fuck dudes gay?" Seven demure hands rose. Loki saw the hand of the boy he called up remain stubbornly down. "What's your name, kid?"
"Kevin."
"Kevin, don't you think you should be raising that hand right about now?"
"I'm sorry?" Kevin looked at Loki with confusion, his synapses struggling to make any connections.
"Kevin dear? You're a fag now too."
"I am?" Kevin asked. But suddenly something clicked in his mind and his hand shot up. Kevin stared at his hand in horror. "I am! Wha-what the fuck, man?"
Loki ignored the pleas of Kevin. Instead he turned to the audience. "If there is one thing I will not tolerate in this auditorium, its bigotry. We'll have none of that here. Understood?"
The room, in unison, all replied with a quick "yes, sir." Loki smiled at them all and tilted his head in appreciation. He turned back to Kevin and said "Well, you learned your lesson, didn't you?"
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
"Hmmfh." Loki turned to the rest of the line. "So, you other boys who didn't raise your hands. What do you call yourself?" Loki walked to the first man, standing to the left side of the line. He twirled the mike in front of his face. "You first. Name?"
"I'm Nick Mendes."
"Well Mr. Mendes, what do you identify as?"
"Uh," Nick answered in a slightly panicked voice. "I'm ace."
"You're what?"
"I'm asexual. I don't really want to fuck anyone."
Loki blinked for a second, then cocked his head to the side. "Well that's boring then. You're no fun. So you are a virgin because you don't want to have sex with anyone?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Nick was more confident now. He stood up taller and looked at Loki.
"Well fine then. I can't humiliate you I guess," Loki responded. "Shoo." Loki waved his hand, and Nick reappeared in the audience. "There goes my even number," Loki muttered under his breath. He looked at the other brother who didn't call himself gay. "What about you, are you asexual as well? Do you want to ruin my fun?"
"No, sir," the frat boy responded.
"Good. What's your name and what do you identify as?"
"Well, my name is Fiona and I identify as a woman." Loki felt the silent gasps from the audience behind him. He smiled again.
"That could be helpful later, then. So Fiona, would you like me to expedite any processes for you?"
"How so?" Fiona asked.
"Well, if you want to be a woman, would you like to be a woman?"
Fiona was shocked at this. "What's the catch?"
"Well, the only catch is that you will be losing your virginity tonight, one way or another. But we can make this easy or hard. What'll it be, do you want to become the woman you are, or stay the closeted man you aren't?"
After thinking for a second, Fiona smiled up at Loki. She nodded and Loki smiled back. Loki snapped his fingers and Fiona instantly became the woman she had felt she was. Loki snapped his fingers again, and Fiona sat down back in her seat.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Loki said. "So now let's get on with the chaos."