Colin stood there, finger raised towards the ceiling. One could almost imagine a light-bulb floating above his head.
“I think I have an idea that will satisfy everyone!”
“Well, spit it out, boy!” The old man snapped.
The chubby gamer took a deep breath and looked Mary Anne straight in the eye. “Mary Anne, will you marry me?”
Everyone’s jaw dropped.
“You believe in sex after marriage, right?” Colin asked.
Gulping, Mary Anne nodded.
“And preachers can get married, right?”
Another nod.
“So, what do you say? Marry me, save your purity, save the world, save me! Will you do it?”
“O-Okay,” Mary Anne nearly whispered. “I guess that would work.”
“Yer wasting our time, boy,” Jack growled.
“No, I’m saving you time,” Colin answered quickly. “If she agrees to do this, you won’t have to go out and hunt down more people! All you have to do is marry us! Can you do that?”
Jack and his wife eyed each other for a while. Finally, he threw up his hands. “FINE!”
Quickly, before anyone could change their mind, Colin pulled the girl to her feet and stood facing her.
Clearing his throat, Jack began. “Dearly beloved, we’re gathered together in this house - yadda yadda yadda - you know the rest.”
Jabbing his finger at Mary Anne, he barked, “You agree to be his wife!” It was more of an order than a question.
“I do,” Mary Anne squeaked.
The finger moved to Colin. “You agree to be her husband till bimbo-hood do you part?”
“I do.”
“RIGHT!” Jack clapped his hands like a gunshot, making the newlyweds jump. “YOU’RE MARRIED! NOW, GET TO IT!”
Colin pulled the girl to himself. “We’d better start.”
His new bride blushed, glancing at her hostile audience. Slowly, she sank down to the ground. At first, Colin thought she was going to faint, but instead, she crawled under the table. Getting the hint, he gave an apologetic grin to Jack. “Privacy.”
Jack sneered at the sentiment, but he turned his back and walked away.
Soon, Colin and Mary Anne were doing their best to consummate their union.