You're pulled out of your tailspin when you hear a knock at the door of your apartment. You look through the peephole quietly. It's your boyfriend, Travis. Shit. You can see in his hand he has breakfast take-out for both of you, probably trying to surprise you before work. It's a sweet gesture and you smile, but you know you can't open the door. You back up a few steps and shout, "Just a minute!"
You try to run through your options quickly. Someone from the gym, work? He wanted to pick someone that had a low chance of making things worse. He settled on one of his coworkers, Steve. Steve had a lot of similarities with him, like age, height, and weight. And most of all, he was pretty sure Steve had average-looking ears. He could only hope that whatever they switched at random wouldn't be noticeable. He focuses on Steve, and his ears, and kisses the ring.
Turning to a nearby mirror, he's thankful to see his ears are back to normal. Well, maybe not normal, but close enough. He raises his arms up in relief to touch them, and then remembers something about Steve. He played in a punk band after work most nights, and you now have a full sleeve of tattoos on both arms. He had forgotten because there was a dress code at work and Steve never wears short sleeves. You curse yourself quietly, and run to grab a sweater. You're not going to give up your new relationship because of all this craziness. You straighten the sweater, and open the door.
"Hey [name]", Travis says. "Did you dye your hair? I like it." Phew.