“Now, gents!” Loki said with a big smile. “Who’s next? Let’s see.” He thought silently for a moment before announcing, “I know! Okay, gentlemen, those of you who aren’t new fathers anyway, raise your hand if you’ve had sex with more than one person.” Out of the 171 guys left in the auditorium, Loki counted 100 hands go up. He smiled. This will be fun. “Keep those hands up, fellas. Now, with your fingers, show how many different people you have had sex with in the past year.” He saw some three’s and four’s and an occasional two. But he was even more happy about the large number of guys who had to raise their other hand to show their number. He did notice that some of them were in great discomfort. He asked one guy who had all ten of his fingers raised high above his head grimacing, “What’s the matter?”
“I’ve had sex with more than ten girls,” he complained. “But I don’t have enough fingers.”
“Interesting,” Loki said with an even bigger smile. He turned to the audience. “Anyone who has had sex with more than ten people stand up and use your fingers to show how many more than ten you’ve had sex with.” Loki counted 24 guys stand up in the audience. Six of them had all ten fingers up. “More than 20?” Loki asked. One of them nodded. The other guys in the auditorium murmured amongst themselves.
Loki shook his head in amusement and laughed. “All righty then, fellas! For those of you who have had sex with more than twenty people, my goodness, stand on your chairs. Don’t worry. They won’t break.” The six guys stood on their chairs as instructed and held up the correct number of fingers. One guy had all ten fingers still raised.
“Don’t tell me you’ve had sex with more than 30 people,” Loki said to him. The man nodded proudly. There were some impressed whistles and shouts of approval from some of the other guys who had their hands raised. All of the other guys were silent. Loki spotted one of the whistlers and made a mental note about it. He turned to the smug young man and asked, “How many different people have you had sex with?”
“64,” the guy announced proudly. There were more hoots and hollers, evidently from this guy’s friends.
“64,” Loki repeated. “That is an impressive feat.” He turned towards the whistler he had spotted earlier. “Now tell me, why are you so thrilled for him?”
“Because that guy is clearly a player and a stud!” the guy replied with a smile. Loki noticed that he was standing and held four fingers up. 14 different people.
“I see. So you’re saying that the more sex a guy has, the better he is,” Loki summarized. The guy nodded. “And now, without thinking, what would you call a girl who had sex with that many different people?”
“A slut,” the guy immediately answered. Several guys started laughing.
“A slut,” Loki repeated thoughtfully. Loki then picked up on a few guys not joining in on the laughter. Loki took a gamble. He wasn’t interested in punishing those who didn’t deserve it. The resulting paperwork upstairs was so distasteful anyway.
“Young man,” Loki asked one of the silent ones at random, “how many romantic relationships have you had?” He noted the number of fingers held up: 6.
“Six,” the guy answered softly. Other silent guys seemed to reflect the looks on his face.
“Hmm,” Loki murmured before announcing, “For those of you who have had as many romantic relationships as the number of fingers you have raised, put your hands down.” Only twenty hands went down. “I’ll talk to you guys in a minute.” He turned back to the other guys with their hands still raised.
He smiled, knowing exactly what he wanted to do to them.