Thus resumed the journey of the beautiful princess Penelope and the naked young man named James across the colorful fields. The vast landscape was as beautiful and dreamy as it was completely fake. Everything James touched felt like the real thing but in the corner of his eye he could catch glimpses of loose boards and poorly sewn stitches on the patches of grass. It felt like a play inside a theater: if you didn’t suspend your disbelief and looked straight where you weren’t supposed to the illusion of this playful world shattered in an instant.
And that was because James had been trapped inside a magical children’s storybook. Everything that hadn’t entered the “scene” didn’t really exist just yet. What’s more, the story had been cut off into a void of pitch black and had resumed just now. This was the second time it had happened since he entered the book. At the end of every “chapter”, this world freezed for what seemed to James like a second while in the real world any amount of time could have passed. Apparently someone had begun just reading the next part of the story, and James had no idea who was reading the story right now. It could be a curious young woman or a perverted old man. How long had been since the last chapter? Maybe the book had been closed and stored in a shelf for a few years and had been reopened just now. Had the wicked witch who cursed him into this strange existence completely forgotten about him? James had no way to know for sure.
Those bumps between chapters were scary. There was the constant threat of the story not continuing at all without a proper ending. And even if it did continue the story could go on in inexplicable ways depending on the new reader’s wishes.
After the princess and the man clutching his privates had been walking aimlessly for a while the Princess finally broke the silence. “I can’t believe you never heard about my castle, everyone in the kingdom of Knihoodia knows about it. What kingdom are you from, James?” The princess looked at the naked man from head to toe. “Usually I can easily tell by the person’s attire but... Well...” She blushed with embarrassment.
James wanted to say that he wasn’t from any weird fantasy kingdom, that he was just a normal person living in a normal world until he was willed into this strange-ass story with not a single stitch of clothing on him, but apparently the curse rendered James unable to articulate anything that broke the fourth-wall.
“I belong to no kingdom, your Majesty.” James unwillingly replied. “I was exiled, forcibly disowned of my home and family name. I survive by my own rules now.”
Woah, that sounded like a very appropriate answer. It even sounded like a cool backstory for a main character.
“Oh, my. Poor fellow...” The Princess said. “And why did they banish you from your homeland?”
“Because of my exhibitionist tendencies.” The curse forced James to say. Ouch! That didn’t sound nearly as cool.
Princess Penelope took a step away from James in disgust. “Uhh... I guess that explains quite a few things...”
James recovered control of his vocal chords. “No, wait, I can explain...!” James approached the Princess to tell her he wasn’t a pervert, but his bare foot tripped with a small rock on the grass and the naked man fell. “Woah!”
“Eeeek!”
Luckily something very soft cushioned his fall. Oh, wait, there were two of these comfy cushions! The rose-scented fragrance didn’t smell half-bad either.
“Get off my royal chest, you naked freak!” The Princess slapped James.
The sweaty bare man defended himself. “It was an accident, I swear!”
“Eek! You’re a disgusting pig! I sentence you to castration! Guards! Guards! Ahhh!”
“We’re not in your castle! And Princess, if you just let me explain-” Another slap.
“Yeah! Bitchslap that pig again! Harder, harder! Go, go, Princess, rah-rah!”
Suddenly both James and the Princess froze, the latter with her hand in the air about to slap the nude man’s cheek which at this point was already red.
“Umm... James...” Princess Penelope whispered. “By any chance, are you a ventriloquist?”
“Of course not!” The aching nudist replied.
“But then... who said that just now...?”
From some nearby bushes two long rabbit ears sprouted out. “Aww, why did you stop? I was rooting for the Princess!” The voyeur came out from his hiding place. James’ mouth hung open. It was a small rabbit-like creature standing on his two feet like a person. He was wearing a very formal top hat, a a bowtie and the upper half of a dressing suit that didn’t do a very much good of covering his surprisingly well-endowed and human-looking uncut genitals.
James realized that in this magical world even wild animals wore more clothing that him. That made him feel even more self-conscious about his nudity. He cradled his cock and balls more closely. “Who... What are you?! How come a rabbit can talk?!”
“I’m a hare.” The animal corrected. “Oh, don’t mind me. I just wanted to watch you two.”
“Oh, good heavens!” The Princess exclaimed. “I can’t believe an inhabitant of the kingdom of Wildbur saw me acting all unlady-like!”
“Kingdom of Wildbur?” James was confused.
“It’s a kingdom filled with magical talking animals just like this sir.” She said. Wait, why she called this hare with a big flopping cock a “sir”?! James couldn’t believe how much he had been degraded. “They have a reputation of being playful pranksters but as part of the royal family I never judge anyone for such stupid stereotypes.”
The hare put on a sad (and very adorable) puppy face. “So you two are not going to play Pigs and Princesses anymore?”
“Play?” The Princess asked.
“Pigs and Princesses?” James inquired as well.
“You know,” The hare smiled and explained. “When grown-ups pretend to be either a princess or a dirty pig and then the pig chases her around. My parents play this game at home every night! I can hear them grunting and moaning from my room! But for some reason they don’t let me join in the fun... Shucks...!” The hare stomped the ground in anger.
Princess Penelope and James looked at each other.
“I’m not gonna break the news to him.” The Princess stated. James grimaced and looked at the hare.
“Look, rabbit, I mean, hare...”
“The name’s Johnny!” The hare pointed out.
“I see. Well, Johnny, there are certain... Er... games that grown-ups play that you’ll only be able to play when you’re older.” James explained.
“But I wanna play them now! It’s my birthday and nobody wants to play with me!” Johnny’s eyes got all watery. “They all shuck! You two shuck as well! I want to play! That’s why I ran away from town! Why won’t anybody play with me!” Johnny got on the floor and began kicking the air with his legs in a childish tantrum that would have looked cute if the hare’s big cock and anus weren’t showing.
The Princess got concerned and whispered to James’ ear. “Umm... We should help this sir with his birthday wish. Besides, helping a Wildburian in need is always good PR for the royal family of Knihoodia.”
James didn’t know why the Princess was suddenly in such a need to please the press. But he did know that this hare was a roadblock in their journey and it wasn’t like James could just say no to a princess, specially after the embarrassing incident with her boobs.
“Well, okay! Johnny, we’ll play with you!” James said with a wide open smile but still shivering from being buttnaked in the open.
“Really?! Yayyy!” The well-dressed hare jumped with joy. “My 35th birthday is gonna be the very best ever!”
“You’re thirty-five?!” James and Penelope shrieked in unison. No wonder nobody at Johnny’s town wanted to play games with him!
“Ok... So for the first game...!” Johnny said rising his paw to the air. “I wanna play ‘Shapes’, in which I shapeshift your bodies in whatever way I want...! Uh?!” When the hare realized it, James and the Princess had already left.
“Sorry, I can barely manage one freak in my entourage.” The Princess said pointing at James. “I don’t need a manchild on top of that.”
“I’m not a freak...” James retorted. His naked hind told the world otherwise.
“Awwww! Shucks! You both shuck! Argh!” The hare’s eyes started glowing with pure hatred... And also lots of Wildburian magic. Little innocent Johnny’s long hare legs ran at top speed and he quickly ambushed the human pair, his fingers formulating a powerful spell.
“What the...?! You didn’t tell me Wildburians could use magic!” James told Princess Penelope.
“I *did* mention they were magical!” She pointed out.
The magical hare yelled. “Play with me! And that’s not a question!” Johnny casted his spell and both the princess and the nudist were surrounded by a mist of green.
“James! Help me!”
“Princess?! What happened?!” James asked.
But no reply came. He felt a familiar sensation. Everything was freezing in place. The angry hare, the screaming Princess... It could only mean one thing. He was nearing the end of another chapter.
“Oh, not again...!” James train of thought was suddenly cut short and everything went black for a single second.