Arriving at Tash’s place, I knocked on the front door. Lucky for me, she answered.
“Hey, what’s up?” She smiled, but with a bit less energy than usual. Something told me she was preoccupied.
“Hey… not much.” That was a lie, but I wasn’t sure how else to answer the question. “Are you free to… um… chat? I wanted to talk about that lady in the woods.”
There was a glimmer of recognition in her eyes, as if she knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. “Yeah, sure. Let’s chill in my room.”
I closed the door behind me as we got to her room, and mustered up all of the courage I could. “I know we’re just friends and don’t usually talk about this kind of stuff… but… I’m kind of worried that the nuts the lady gave me caused some kind of hallucination or reaction to my body.”
“Oh?” Tash raised her eyebrows. “Well, I’ve been having a… bit of trouble, too. I didn’t eat the nuts, but there’s… something really weird going on.”
I felt a little better knowing I wasn’t the only one experiencing weirdness. “Can I ask what?”
“Uhh… yeah, I feel cold… but only in a certain part of my body.” She blushed, which was rare for her as she is usually a pretty confident and audacious girl.
“Oh… um… Me too! But it went away. Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one I guess, but I’m still really worried about it… do you remember anything that happened that could have caused this?”
Tash also seemed relieved to not be the only one experiencing the chills. “Yeah, I mean, the only weird thing that happened today was the lady giving us all of that weird food.”
“Yeah, you know, I was thinking that the choice of food she gave us was not only weird, but also kind of… sexual? A wiener and a sack of nuts is a lot like a ‘you-know-what’, and a taco and a melon for you… well…”
Tash lit up in a moment of realization. “Hey, did you put anything in the fridge?”
“Yeah, I put the hot dog in the fridge…” And then I suddenly realized too. “Oh! Do you think this is some kind of voodoo shit? I mean, there’s no such thing as magic, but this is the closest I could come to believing it.”
“Hey, yeah, that lady could have been a witch! Who else would live in a cabin in the middle of the woods?”
All of a sudden I felt another change down below. My dick felt like it had suddenly plunged into the boiling depths of hell. “YAGHH!! SHIT SHIT SHIT MY DICK IS BURNING!!!” I jumped up and down, screaming. With all of the speed I could muster, I raced past Tash and into her kitchen, pulled a tray of ice cubes out of the freezer, and poured it down the front of my pants.
Tash’s mom, who was standing in the kitchen turned to me with a quizzical, concerned look. “What’s the matter Ben?? Is everything alright??”
“All good!” I squeaked, barely able to talk as I dashed to the bathroom to avoid further embarrassment. In all my penile chaos, I failed to notice two melons sitting on a chopping board, and a sharp knife in her hand. I also failed to notice Tash’s dad take Tash’s taco and a bottle of hot sauce out of the fridge and into the dining room.
He sat down at the table. “Thank god for leftovers!”