Hey there. So if you’re reading this, I assume you want to hear my weird-ass story. And trust me, it’s weird.
So my name’s Devon. I’m 26 and I work at one of those shipping facilities for online shopping. So my job sucks. I’m still single because I can’t seem to keep anyone I date, and I’m a fairly average guy. 6 foot tall, a bit overweight (not huge, but enough that you can see my stomach through my shirt).
Oh, and I have a superpower.
I’ll give you three guesses. No, I’m not Superman. I’m not Captain America either. And I’m not the Hulk. Really? Just gonna go with actual superheroes? I said this story was weird, and so is my power. Short version: I can take a fact about someone else and make it true for me instead. I figured it out when I was about 10, but I don’t use it that much. And the best part, the world fits to whatever I swap, so the only people that know are the people I tell about my power.
Is that confusing? Okay, let me give you an example. So one time, I wanted to know what it was like to be really tall. I knew about Blake Griffith, the basketball player, so I changed ‘Blake Griffith is 6’9”’ to ‘I am 6’9”’, and suddenly, I was. All my clothes changed to fit me as if I was that tall, and nobody thought it was weird that I was suddenly almost a foot taller.
There is a downside though. There’s always something else that changes too. I call it the Side Effect. So when I became 6’9”, suddenly all I did in my free time was hang out at the local park and shoot hoops. I didn’t even enjoy it, but that’s all I wanted to do. Of course, I can always change things back, so when I gave Blake back his height, I lost my need to play basketball too.
Usually the Side Effect isn’t so great. Like one time, I took this redneck guys beard and I started speaking like a redneck. I became Mexican for a couple days and I suddenly only knew Spanish.
There’s only a couple people I told. My ex-girlfriend Julie knows, and so does my best friend Cooper. So whenever I would change things, they’d know what changed. Cooper keeps trying to get me to swap different things just because he thinks my power’s cool, but I don’t do it that much just because the side effect can be kinda nasty.
So now you know how that works. Now, I want to tell you about the time I went a bit overboard and became… well, became what I am today.
So this story begins, as all great stories do, with alcohol. Cooper and I were in the bar down the street from our apartment. We were a few drinks in, enough for Connor to get tipsy but I was flat out drunk. The last thing I remember was Cooper saying “Hey dude, what if you swapped with them?” I don’t remember who he pointed to, and I blacked out after.
Next thing I know, I was waking up in my bed, and I had no idea what I did.