Jeff and Ken, still clowns, scrolled through the laptop, finding out what else they could do with the Chronivac. "Here's one we could do," heheyaha," Ken giggled, then honked his nose.
Jeff leaned closer to the screen. "Are you sure?" he asked and squeezed his nose, the honk sounded almost inquisitive. "That one only allows you to change inanimate objects, heeheeyaha." HONK!
"But we will be able to go anywhere, heeheeyaha, and while we cannot change living things directly, heeheeyaha," Ken explained, "we change inanimate objects into what can affect living things, heeheeyaha." Honk!
The new whiteface clown described the 'Goodies' episode that had inspired him. "Tim, Graham, and Bill had all eaten some of the liquified nerve gas, heeheeyaha, thinking it was tomato soup. It tasted horrible, heeheeyaha, so they sold it to truck stops and gas stations, heeheeyaha, who mixed it in with their gasoline. By the time the three realized what was happening, heheyaha, the three had already turned into clows themselves and it was too late. The fumes from the cars got everywhere, heeheeyaha, and they turned everyone in the UK into a clown!" HONK! HONK!
Jeff laughed so hard his beer belly shook. "That sounds hilarious, heeheeyaha," he said, and honked his nose. Jeff then took out his smartphone and laid it next to the laptop. "Okay, heeheeyaha, let's get on with it."
After downloading the software to an app on the phone, the two teenage clowns waddled out of Jeff's bedroom. As they made their way to the garage, Jeff had thoughts about using the app to change his house but decided not to. Enough cars would drive by soon enough to do it for him.
They came to Jeff's car, a mini-Smart car designed to resemble a classic VW Beetle. Jeff hadn't been thrilled when his parents bought it as his first car, since it looked kind of dorky. But for two clowns, it was perfect.
Or almost perfect. Jeff brought up his phone and scanned the car. "What're you doing, heeheeyaha?" Ken asked. Honk?
"Making sure we have the perfect ride, heeheeaha. Jeff honked his nose, then press the app icon. The beam emitted from the camera and enveloped the car, causing it to shrink by about a third, then the colors shifted into a swirled mix of red, yellow and blue. "The perfect transportation for a pair of clowns, isn't it?" Honk! Ken nodded and honked his own nose in agreement. The two clowns waddled to the car and got inside; for such a small vehicle it was surpisingly roomy inside, especially for two rotund clowns. Jeff pressed the garage door opener, turned the ignition, and then drove off.
********
The day was slow and boring for Mindy Connell. Attending a gas station was hardly an exciting job, but today was far less busy than usual for the 19-year-old college student. Less than five customers had come in so far, and her shift had begun at six o'clock this morning. She could have used the time to study for her physics exam, but her manager didn't allow it-and he had cameras all over the station.
Suddenly what looked like a shrunken mini car that had buckets of paint dumped on it pulled up next to a pump. And then, even stranger, two clowns who looked almost too fat for one of them to fit inside, got out.
One of the clown pulled out a phone and looked like he was taking pictures of the pumps off all things while the other, the one whose face was mostly painted in white, waddled up like a penguin into the store.
He went looking among the shelves; Mindy couldn't help but have one eye looking out the window at the other clown. That one didn't stop with the pumps, but then waddled to the cover where the fuel truck deposited gas and scanned it with his phone camera. What was he up to, she wondered.
"Hello." A goofy voice, followed by a silly HONK! brought Mindy to attention. The white-faced clown was standing in front of the cash register. His makeup looked surprisingly realistic. Looking up close he really seemed to be that chubby, and there was no sign of a bald cap on his scalp. Maybe he simply shaved his head and glued that false mass of hair around the sides.
“I’d like to purchase these, heeheeyaha, and some gas,” he said, and squeezed his nose; that HONK! sounded again.
His makeup looked surprisingly realistic. Looking up close he really seemed to be that chubby, and there was nos sign of a bald cap on his scalp. Maybe he simply shaved his head and glued that false mass of hair around the sides.
“O-kay.” Mindy scanned the sodas and beefy jerk the clown had picked, then added the gas that had been asked for. “Thank you,” she said as he gave her his debit card. “Is the circus coming to town?”
“No, heeheeyaha,” the clown said and honked his nose. He seemed to do that a lot, as if he were marking the ends of his sentences. And he always seemed to keep interrupting his speech with giggles. “My buddy and I are just going out for a drive around town, heeheeyaha.” HONK!
“Well, have a good say,” Mindy said as she handed him back his card and receipt. The clown giggled a ‘Thank you,’ honked his nose, and waddled out the door with his purchases.
Mindy followed him and stood in the station doorway, watching him give the other clown a soda. They talked as the other clown pumped gas into the car; their voices were too low for Mindy to hear but seemed rather goofy. The exaggerated hand and facial expressions they used made them look so hilarious, Mindy couldn’t help but laugh. ‘They certainly made this boring day a little more interesting.’
Finally, the clown car’s tank was full. The other clown put up pump handle back in place, they got in the car, and drove off.
Mindy was about to walk back into a station when a loud Bang! emerged from the clown car just as it drove out on the road; Mindy was enveloped in a cloud of smoke from the exhaust pipe and started to feel...funny.