“I’m not your bruh!” Colin defiantly shot back at Ash as he fumbled to his feet and gestured over her , “And THIS?! This is NOT what I was asking for when I invited you!”
“B-But she didn’t even show up, you got ghosted.” Ash started.
“Ghosted? No, my GIRLFRIEND got food poisoning! And I don’t know if she’s okay because her friends haven’t texted me recently!” Colin said, “Me sitting in front of a stupid shrimp springroll heart was my fault because I just had to try and give her a nice surprise! I just had to give this beautiful, sweet, wonderful, loving lady something special and the universe gave me a great big ‘fuck you’ for trying to!!!”
Ash got flustered, picking up her clothes and grabbing her bag as Colin’s tirade continued.
“I didn’t even know you WERE a woman until you took the bounding or whatever off, and before you ask, what was I supposed to say?! Oh hey bro, couldn’t tell you were a broette or that this whole thing was some shot to get lucky to you! I just wanted someone to hang out with until she got better and I could hug her tight and say I’m sorry, say I’m never letting you out of my sight ever again, but I guess I’m a goddamn moron for that too!!!!”
“Okay, you made your point, I’m going…” Ash sighed as she ran out the front door right pass Sam, Angela, and Shara…
Hold on.
Sam?
Angela?
Shara?!
“Oh hey ladies.. how much of that did you hear?” Colin asked.
*SMACK*
“That was for breaking your promise to not bring any new women over while I was gone.” Angela scowled.
*SMACK*
“That’s for not using your brain and asking some basic fucking questions.” Sam spat as she stormed off.
Colin held up his hands for a third slap.
That’s when the tanned purplenette hugged and kissed him deeply.
“That’s for everything else you said…” Shara blushed. “You mind if I treat you for once?”
“But I-“ Colin started.
“Sssh… trust me… I know a great place.” Shara smiled.
***********************************************
Shara sipped some water as Colin pounded down around Lakeside Lagoon Mule.
“Baby, you’re sooooo gooood to meeee…” Colin drunkenly blushed as he kissed her on the cheek.
“I know…” Shara smiled.
The crowd pulled Colin towards the mechanical bull rocking violently.
“Hey quick question; why didn’t you just let him stew in the consequences of his own dumbassery?” Sam asked as she took another swig of beer.
“Oh come on Sam, he was completely sorry about what happened back there!” Shara snapped, “You heard what he said.”
“About how he managed to talk about Yoshi for half an hour before even wondering why some random dude was so eager to swing by? His own coworkers don’t even come over!” Sam snipped back. “Besides, Colin plus booze minus supervision always equals problems.”
“I’ve got my eye on our guy.” Shara smirked.
“And where is ‘our guy’ right now, Shara?” Lucy asked.
The tanned beauty looked over to the mechanical bull and saw a woman riding it instead of her man; Colin was in the middle of stumbling into someone else’s car.
“We gotta go get him!” Shara yelled.
“Or you can stop making excuses for him and finally cut loose!” Sam smiled as she poured a cocktail shaker down her friend’s throat.
“My doctor said not to mix my medicine with- BLEEEEEEEEUGH!!!!” Shara said as she spewed all over the neighboring table.
************************************************
Colin groaned and rolled around as the burning light of the accursed morning star blazed across his face.
“Uhhhhh…. My heaaaaaad….. Shara? Sam? Lucy?”
The girls that came with him to the bar were nowhere to be seen… come to think it, the room itself was one that HE’D never seen before.
“Hello?” Colin groggily called as he puked in his mouth with a groan.
That was when he heard a voice from behind.