Scott sat quietly on the floor, Kai nestled snugly on his lap, observing as the two older boys bombarded Ryan with their eager questions about adulthood and various trivial matters. Ryan had quickly made himself comfortable on the living room couch and open to questioning. The two spies thought it best to play the part of two quiet, introverted little boys with little interest in the arrival of the strange, new man. At least that way, Ryan would hardly have an opportunity to spot any unusual mannerisms in the men turned boy and tot. The older boy wrapped his arms around his young companion, rocking from side to side as he did. With Kai’s warm, little head rested on his arm, Scott found himself daydreaming once again, whisked away to a cozy condo on the coast, his beautiful, cunning counterpart napping next to him on an unremarkable, chilly autumn afternoon. He’d snuggle up closely to spoon his sleepy spy, and they’d switch their holds every so often. A kiss planted on his tender lips. A stir. A tight embrace and their lips locked. Soon after that—
“And what’re your names, guys?” The unfamiliar man had approached the younger duo, leaving the other two housemates chatting away on the couch.
The question snapped Scott out of his tranquil stupor, dragging him back to the rough reality of being oh-so-far-away from the future he dreamily longed for.
“Oh, I’m Scott. This is Kai.” He thought it prudent to do most of the talking for Kai at this point. After all, despite being 3 years old, Kai’s pronunciation and cadence of speech harbored the telltale adroitness of someone far more intelligent than your average toddler. The gesture must’ve been well appreciated, as evidenced by a soft, affirmative caress of Scott’s thigh.
“It’s great to meet you both! I hope you’re not too nervous because of me being here. I just wanna have a fun day with all you guys. Do you two wanna hang out with me and Ernesto and Jackson?”
Scott and Kai knew the real answer, but Ryan had asked the wrong question. He should have asked, “Do you two think hanging out with me will get you better ratings with the audience?” Because that necessitated quite a different answer, the one they were inclined to give now.
“Sure, I guess,” Scott frowned, wanting only to stay cozy on the floor with his tiny partner in crime.
“Awesome! How about we get started with something we can all do?” Ryan must’ve been trying to include Kai in his plans for the day, no doubt a tall order given the canyon of an age gap between him and the other boys. “I think you guys’ll really like what I’ve got to show you!” He gestured for all four of the boys to follow him, leading them to the sprawling backyard, surrounded by pristinely trimmed hedges.
The space was decked out with state-of-the-art playground equipment, brand new outdoors toys, a sandbox, a swing set, you name it! All of this had definitely not been there the day before, so the staff must’ve worked really hard to set it all up this morning to prepare for Ryan, and boy did they do a good job. Sure, the housemates weren’t really young boys, but if there were ever a time to act like kids, this sure seemed to be it; all the new yard furnishings and toys were practically begging to played on or with, and the boys’ restored juvenile instincts weren’t about to disappoint.
Scott plucked Kai up from the ground, carrying the tyke piggyback as he bounded joyfully toward the swings! Ernesto and Jackson had run in their own direction toward the playground set with the bridges, ladders, and slides, leaving the younger two to enjoy a peaceful time pumping their legs and soaring safely toward the sky.
“I hope it’s not too embarrassing if I put you in the toddler swing seat.” Scott wanted to be courteous, even though the excited, restless tot on his back could hardly hide his enthusiasm for being placed in the little bucket seat.
“It can’t be any worse than the training pants. And you can push me!... You’ll push me, won’t you?” Kai was practically bouncing out of Scott’s arms.
“Yeah, yeah, I got you.” Scott gingerly deposited the young Kai in the seat. “You’re just lucky I’m still old enough to do this for you.”
“Knowing this show, I’m sure I’ll get the opportunity to return the favor.”
Scott sighed. “Ugh, yeah probably, but I sure hope not. I think I prefer being the older one of the two of us.”
“I dunno!” Kai squealed as he was pushed higher and higher with every pump of his short, stubby legs. “I think I liked it when you looked all helpless and sad, like you’d just tasted defeat for the first time.”
“Well that’s kinda grim, don’t ya think, little guy?” Scott laughed. It really had felt like that, whether Kai actually knew it or not. Scott had led a widely successful career, and he’d faced no such humiliation or circumstances quite as harrowing. As a man, almost anything seemed possible, but now? One slip-up could send him back to potty-training, just like Kai, and then what? He’d be utterly dependent on Jackson and Ernesto, and neither he nor Kai would have any hope of acquiring the tech.
“I suppose I can be a little nicer to you.” Kai beamed from his secured swing seat. “It’s just, you were this hulking, stoic force of a man… and then I put you in Batman undies! It was kind of a rush, knowing I had that power over a guy as strong as you.”
Scott couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the tot’s statement. “Sorry to disappoint, Kai Kai, but I think I just put you back in Pull-Ups. How’s that for a power move?”
The boy blew a raspberry, and the two delighted, for once, in their shared reduction in power.
“You guys likin’ the new swings?” Ryan approached, happy to receive a pair of chubby, teethy smiles in response. “I asked if they could install all this stuff for you guys, so you can play with everything not just today but even when I’m gone! I didn’t think they’d get stuff this nice, but I’m sure you boys deserve it!”
“Wow, thanks, Ryan!” Scott didn’t even need to try to sound like a grateful 10-year-old… because he really having a great time, for maybe the first time on the show.
“No problem, bu—oh shoot…” A familiar, generic ringtone sounded cheerily from Ryan’s back pocket. “Sorry, guys, I’ll be right back.” The man answered his phone, retreating a distance to take the call.
“Kai!” Scott had an idea. “I bet I can get his phone for you to start hacking!”
Initially, Kai looked up eagerly at the thought, but a thought rose to mind. “But what if you get caught? What will you tell him?”
“We don’t have time to think about that! This could be our best shot of getting that attic open, while I’m still old enough to even climb up there on a ladder!” The idea consumed the older boy. Scott’s enthusiasm for playtime had been wholly overridden by his faithfulness to the mission, and he was feeling good about it. Despite Kai’s incredulous expression, Scott had a plan. “Watch, it’ll be easier than you think!” Then, he was off.
Kai sat lazily in the swing as his arc collapsed inward. He watched curiously as Scott ran over to Ryan, who appeared to have just finished his call.
Scott’s adorable acting was sure to fool the eager man, as he approached the big-brother-to-be with a pleading, earnest face to captivate his spirit. “Ryan, Ryan! Can you play hide and seek with us?!”
On cue, Ryan’s face lit up with a bright, ear-to-ear smile. “Of course, Scott! That’s a great idea! Tons of places to hide out here after all.” He was impressed that he’d managed to break through with Scott, who had come out of his shell in no time flat. “Why don’t you go get Kai, and I’ll tell the other boys?”
Scott nodded, jogging back to retrieve his roommate, who looked as if he was straining to hear the masterful bit he had just performed.
“What did you ask h—whoa!” Kai squeaked, barely finishing his question before he was briskly whisked out of the swing seat.
“We’re playing hide and seek! And this is gonna give us the perfect opportunity to both nab his phone and do some hacking.”
Kai’s big eyes widened, realizing that perhaps Scott had really thought up a sensible plan. “That actually might work! We just gotta make sure we hide well.”
“And I’ve already eyed us a perfect spot, so just leave it all to me!” Scott glowed with a renewed, burning intensity. He was going to make up for Kai’s descent into toddlerdom one way or another, and nothing was going to stop him!
“Alright, boys, gather round!” Ryan called out. Ernesto and Jackson had already beat them to the young man. As Scott, carrying his little Kai Kai, caught up, the man continued, “Okay, so I’m going to close my eyes and count to 50. Then, I’m gonna come and find you! Let’s see which of you can last the longest! Is everyone ready?”
A quartet of affirmatives sounded off, and the countdown was off. Without missing a beat, Scott quickly deposited his charge on the ground, making a hasty, quiet approach to the man. The older roommates were too preoccupied searching for the most unfindable of spots, so there was little worry that they would witness the events about to unfold.
Scott had long ago mastered the art of the pickpocket, an industry must-have when it came to swiping access cards, IDs, wallets, what have you… Of course, Kai had acquired the very same skillset, but seeing his 10-year-old roommate pull the maneuver off, not only producing the man’s phone from his back pocket, but also unlocking it with his face was still an indisputably impressive feat.
As Ryan got up to 15, Scott retrieved Kai, phone in hand, and he ushered him away to a spot behind some faraway bushes he’d found earlier. He was confident that Ryan would focus more on the playground equipment than the shrubbery in his search for the boys, but he’d have to see if that bet would pay off.
By now, the two probably had about 10 seconds left before they’d be wanted boys, so before Kai could even commend the other agent’s adept performance, the phone was thrust into his hand as he was leaned up against the back of the bush.
“You got this. The yard is huge, so it’s gonna take him a lot of time to check everywhere, and this’ll probably near the end of his search. If he does come over before you’re done, I’ve also got a plan for that.”
Kai nodded diligently before setting to work on his hack. To see Scott reacquire a modicum of his former adult confidence was actually quite charming and genuinely motivating. Since Scott had pulled off his half of this brilliant plan, Kai had no choice but to do the very same.
…
Anxious, heavy breathing. Purposeful, fast fingers… as much as Kai could manage. The duo sat in suspense as their first 8 minutes slipped by unnoticed. Scott had been keeping an eye out from behind their leafy refuge, and Jackson had been the first caught, which made sense given that he was the biggest… and maybe also not the brightest. Ernesto had yet to be caught.
“Keep going, bud,” Scott reassured.
Kai appreciated that he wasn’t being hounded on his progress, which, to be fair, was proceeding at the pace he’d estimated it would take him. Fifteen minutes appeared, indeed, to be the mark for his cyber curtain call.
Three minutes more, and Scott announced the discovery of Ernesto’s whereabouts, setting the younger of the four roommates squarely in Ryan’s sights, but not literally, thankfully.
Kai’s delicate hands began to sweat, impeding his progress just a bit as the nerves caught up to him. He simply could not afford to fail here. When else would they get phone access as easily as this?!
At the thirteen-minute mark, Ryan’s search had, just as Scott predicted, narrowed to their corner of the yard, leaving little Kai very little time to get the attic door unlocked.
“I think he’s about to find us, Kai,” the older boy whispered. “I have a plan, but no guarantees that it works.”
After several seconds, when it seemed imminent that Ryan would find the two, Scott put his clever plot into action.
“Okay, okay, you found me!” Scott conceded, emerging from the bush before Ryan had a chance to investigate behind it.
Ryan, however, had apparently seen this trick before. “I sure did, buddy! But are you sure you aren’t covering for our little Kai?”
Now, Scott, whose audible gulp signaled precisely what Ryan had insinuated, could do little to dissuade the man from checking behind the bush. If he fought him on it, then it would only be that much more apparent that he was, in fact, covering for Kai. Scott bit his lip, chastising himself for having failed in this one last critical, deceptive deed.
Kai’s fingers stopped in their tracks as a massive pair of hands descended upon his form, lifting him straight out of the cover of his near-perfect hiding spot.
“Gotcha, Kai!” Ryan declared proudly. “You’re the last one! You did aweso—wait, is that… my… my phone?”
The toddler’s face rang of pure panic. He looked upon Scott’s frowning face in a desperate plea for help.
“Kai, buddy, what’s this you were doing here? What is all this?” Ryan puzzled over the strange numbers and lines of text that filled the screen, like he’d snatched a device right out of a hacking scene in a movie.
However, there was no way in hell that Scott was about to let Kai take the fall for this botched plan of his. “That was me, Ryan!”
The man turned to him, curious to hear the guilty boy’s explanation. He sternly demanded it, “Scott, how and why do you have my phone?”