As the game booted, and Leah explained the basics, Tina realized this was a competitive online game. In her own memories, those were some of the most toxic places she's ever had the misfortune to be in, especially as a woman; she tried a shooter once, and was called every slur under the sun within a 10 minute game. However, this was (supposedly) a kid's game where there were no chat rooms, the extent of communication being "Here" and "Booyah" spoken in a gargling, made-up language. Although Leah was safe from toxic gamers, she wasn't from gamer rage. Tina wondered what would happen if she lowered Leah's filter that kept her more impulsive thoughts in check. If Leah was focused on the game, she might not even realize the change would be happening. She waited until Leah entered the game before speaking the trigger.
"So...any *wide-angled alligators* in this game?"
"Huh? Umm, maybe? I think it's mostly aquatic creatures. Oh, match set! Man, it's been a while, but I'm kind of excited!"
The game started, and it was clear Leah was rusty. She had her trusty 'Blobobber' equipped, and was trying to get the feel on how to use it again. Her first encounter with another player made the girl tense up and spam while they moved around and finished her. It looked like a simple, amateur mistake.
"Mother fucker!"
Tina couldn't stop her gasp, gawking at a similarly shocked Leah.
"S-sorry, that slipped out." She said blushing. Though a teen, Leah was never much for swearing (though maybe that was just around Tina).
"It's fine, you were frustrated." Tina says with a shrug, hiding how much she was bothered. The game continued on, and Leah was slowly relearning the game. She encountered another opponent, this time making sure to aim. However, her weapon was not nearly as fast and she got killed (splatted?) by the opposing short-range weapon.
"Son of a bitch!" Leah shouted out, more angry at herself for such a mistake. Once gain, she turned to Tina in shock.
"I-I'm so sorry, I couldn't- it just slipped out, I swear! I'm not meaning to!"
Tina almost felt offended, feeling the urge to reprimand the girl. However...what was Tina expecting? Sure, the words weren't as babyish as Tina wanted, but did she really expect the girl to say 'poopyhead' and 'meanie' without further triggers? Curse words were, in themselves, very immature, just less in a 'cute' way and more in an 'adult' way.
Tina once again hid her disappointment and offense, giving another shrug.
"Hey, slip-ups happen."
Leah doesn't look reassured by that response, but continues to play. She's a lot less enthusiastic though, as she seems far more self conscious. She purposely tried avoiding fights, but would still get splatted, and then involuntarily curse followed by apologizing. It was clear she wasn't having fun anymore, and it frustrated Tina. Sure, the vulgar language wasn't ideal, but Tina wanted the trigger to make Leah MORE relaxed, not more tense!
"Shit! Oh, fuck, I mean- damn it." Leah went on a spiral of cursing, then cursing when she realized she was cursing, and the cycle continued. Tina realized in dismay that making Leah so loose tongued was a terrible decision.
"-fuck, Tina, please don't be upset, I really don't mean to! It's like it slips out before I can stop it!" The girl pleaded, the game all but forgotten. It finally hit Tina: Leah wasn't upset about being a potty mouth, she was upset by Tina's reaction to it. Even when Tina reassures her, she makes it sound like the 'slip-ups' were negative. That lead to a further realization about Leah in general: the trigger doesn't make someone swear, just say whatever thought is on their mind during high emotion---in other words, Leah was already a potty mouth, just not around Tina. Given Leah's reaction to her language, she was well aware how much Tina disliked it. Leah has been purposely hiding a part of herself from Tina, and it's her fault. No wonder why the teen never opens up to her, she doesn't feel comfortable just speaking to her like she does everyone else!
A seed of dread and guilt bloomed in her stomach; is she really deserving to be a mother when something so obvious escapes her?
"Leah, do you feel uncomfortable cussing around me?" The woman finally asked when the match ended.
"Shouldn't I?" Leah blorted out, "Fuck, I didn't mean- shit, that- ugh, you always get upset whenever I swear, so I try not to do it. I have better control usually, I swear! I think it's just the Horseshoe whatever messing with me." She sounded genuinely upset, finding her lack of control taxing instead of freeing. It seemed Leah wasn't the only one who'd be forced to change this month.
"That's...true. I don't like it. I was raised where saying words like that got me punished, and I never grew up from that." Tina cleared her throat, feeling uncomfortable with being vulnerable and self reflective, "And while I can't change that past, I don't want to force it onto you. I want you to feel comfortable talking with me Leah, no matter what language you use." She took a deep breath, finding strength to fight off a binding resistance as she smiles.
"Besides, it's clearly distracting you from that...f-fucker with the oversized paintbrush!" Tina felt a strange sense of freedom that contrasted the immediate regret she felt. Leah's jaw dropped, looking more shocked than anything else that's happened that day---it made Tina feel a little lightheaded and embarrassed. All at once she burst into laughter, laughing so hard that she fell backwards onto the couch. Tina was a bit upset at the reaction, but it soon melted away as the contagious nature of the laughter spread to her. The two sat there laughing for felt like ages. When they finally get enough control to breath, Leah wipes tears away from her eyes.
"Holy shit Tina, that was hilarious. Painful to watch, but hilarious." Her smile shrunk into a more passive smile ,"Are you sure you're okay with a little cursing?"
"Yes!" Tina shouts immediately, then paused, "I mean, fuck yes!"
"Okay, Tina, no need to hurt yourself."
With that, Leah started another game. This time she held nothing back, mouth flying on every mistake and frustration; Tina was a little impressed at times with how creatively Leah could twist her words. It was a side Tina hadn't really seen and---while definitely something she had to get used to---she's incredibly happy she can see. As Tina watched and slowly started to understand the game, she would add little comments too with the occasional f-bomb, and the two would bust a gut every time. Tina has never felt closer to her step-daughter.
An hour into gaming, Tina remembers her original purpose and wonders if she should use another trigger; Leah was clearly having a good time already, but there were so many childish traits Tina could add. As another match ends, Tina decides...