I listened as the cafeteria burst out loud laughing. Frozen, I did what I think was the best thing and made a joke about how Jessica was the biggest tramp in the school. This worked as the attention was diverted from me to Jessica.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I ducked out of the cafeteria, only to run into Thomas. "What's wrong with you," he asked.
I open my mouth and close it several times. Finally having no answer, I shrug. Thomas gives me a strange look and walks off down the hall without saying anything. I want to run after him, ask him what the problem is, but I know what it is. It’s me.
I keep saying or do odd things and now it's starting to catch and affect my friendship with my best mate. Sighing, I head for my next class, math.
I don't see Thomas for the rest of the day, nor is he on the bus. The fact that my mind keeps slipping is starting to bother me, but I have no answer. On the ride home, I see Jessica and several of her friends gossiping and for some reason I want to go over and join in.
I can't figure out why though. For some reason I want to talk about boys, what actor and actress is doing and who there with, who's on my address book of my cell phone and other really weird things. Hell, I even want to talk about my monthly and whether I'm to fat to try out for the cheer leading squad; as I said, weird, huh?
I manage to shrug these weird thoughts off by the time I get home. But all that is for naught as I step into the house, kick off my shoes, and holler out, "Mom, I'm home. Anything planned for supper?"
No answer and in the kitchen I find a note that says that she has gone to the grocery store and then is going to take my sister to a doctor's and dentist appointment. Note in hand, I sigh as I realize that I have the house to myself. "But do I want to play my game system of start my homework?" I ask myself.
Suddenly really tired, my mind slips and I want to play with Katherine's dolls. I try to shake it off, but to no avail and I instead find myself heading for my sister's room.
Inside I'm greeted by the same Disney and Princess theme, but I feel comfortable here. Without really thinking about it, I strip off my clothes, toss them into my room and head back in Katherine's room. I begin to go through her clothes, asking myself, "What would look cute to play dress-up in?"
I pull on a pair of her underwear, a pair with Tinkerbell on the front and without really paying attention to what I'm doing I tuck my penis and testicles between my legs and skip across the room to Katherine's closet.
Inside I go through her costumes until I settle on a pair of pink tights, a pink body suit and a pink tutu like skirt. Not realizing that I'm dressed like a little girl, I pick up a doll, insert my thumb into my mouth, something I haven't done since I was about three, and instead of playing, I climb into my sister's bed and fall asleep within minutes.