The doctor is standing over you, his voice sounds weird, alien. You focus, and make out that what he's saying.
"...ass. You could have been a draft horse, a race horse or stallion. But no such luck, I grabbed the nearest vial, and loaded it into the syringe. I just couldn't let you get away, your DNA is perfect for a hooved ruminant. Most people don't have the stomachs for it. But your DNA was made for a four compartment stomach. Look, you're already chewing in preparation for the first cud."
"The good news is, that a jack ass is smaller than a horse. So, you should be out working at our Grand Canyon research station as a pack animal. The trail is too narrow for mules, and the government has banned aircraft. Not the most prestigious job, but then Scott, you are an ass!"
No. Your hand has fused into a hoof. You feel an itchy sensation along your spine. Then pain, as your neck extends, and tail shoots out.