Dave grinned, and wrote "Jenny will get pranked as badly as she pranked me, and feel just as bad about it as I did." He stuck the piece of paper into his desk along with the gold pen and started distributing his personal belongings around his new office.
Suddenly he heard Jenny shouting outside his door.
"Damnit, I don't care what he's got scheduled, he's going to answer for this!"
Dave felt a stab of panic; had his wishing a prank on Jenny backfired somehow? He pulled his drawer open and was scrambling for the pen when her heard Jodie, his new secretary, shouting in response.
"Ms Mahony! Firstly, as an employee of Mathison & Sweiber Associates you will behave in a mature and professional manner At All Times! Secondly, you do Not get to dictate An-E-Thing about what Mr Bahner will or will not answer for; he outranks you now! And Thirdly, the document you're waiving in my face has been going around the office All Week! If you are so out of touch you haven't heard about the 'dress code prank' I hope it's because you've been focusing on your work!"
"The what?!"
"It's a prank. A joke played to humiliate someone? Try to keep up."
"You can't talk to me like that--"
"You disturbed the entire department because you actually believed a poorly photocopied FAKE memo, rife with spelling errors, purporting to inform you that you would be required to wear sexier clothing on pain of being fired? How should I be talking to you?"
Dave couldn't resist the urge to twist the knife a bit and stepped over to open his door.
"Jodie? Something wrong out here?" Dave fought to keep a grin off his face as he glanced at Jenny who was blushing furiously and glaring daggers at his secretary.
They presented a study in opposites: Jenny; a 24 year-old tall willowy blond, decked out in designer clothes and possessed, Dave knew, of a first-rank college education, and Jodie; a 40-something African American woman, built like a proverbial fire plug, who had worked her way into her executive secretary position over the course of her career.
"No sir, Ms Mahony fell victim to someone's idea of a joke."
"Oh, I hear that's going around." He caught Jenny's eye as she turned her furious stare on him. "Ms Mahony enjoys jokes, at least when they aren't on her."
"Did you put this on my desk!?" Jenny spat out.
"No, and frankly? If you react this badly to being the butt of other people's jokes you might want to rethink playing them yourself." Dave turned to look at Jodie. "Do you have a few minutes? I'd like to discuss scheduling a preliminary planning meeting for the Danverness account."
"Of course Mr Bahner, it's at the top of my list!" She smiled widely as she walked past Dave into his office.
Dave looked out at his co-workers, their attention attracted by the earlier shouting.
"Okay people, Back to work!" He looked again at Jenny. "Give me the paper, that prank ends here." He held out his hand and waited while Jenny reluctantly walked over to hand it to him.
"Listen, Dave..."
"Later Jenny, best get back to work." He turned and closed his office door in her astonished face.
Jodie had both hands over her mouth and her eyes wide in astonished glee. She stayed silent as they listened to Jenny's high heels click as she stalked away.
"Hoooboy in her face! She has had that coming to her for a long time!" Jodie dropped into Dave's visitor chair and fanned herself with her steno pad.
Dave glanced at the "memo." Someone had typed up a fake notice, taped it over an actual memo and run it through the copier. you could actually see the outlines of the tape.
"She believed this?!" Dave asked Jodie incredulously. He suspected his pen might have something to do with it, but even he could tell at a glance it was a fake.
"Yup," Jodie plucked the joke out of Dave's hand and looked at it admiringly, "flew off the handle just like I expected, too." She looked slyly at Dave out of the corner of her eye.
"Wait, you?!" Dave sputtered.
"Ha-ha!" Jodie slapped her knee. "I heard what she did to you while I was on my coffee break? So when Joe told me he'd promoted you I decided it was time her skinny white behind got a taste of her own medicine." She sighed and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'll shred this for you, but there's probably other copies floating around."
"No, leave it. I might want to rub Jenny's nose in it some time."
"That sounds even better. Now when were you thinking about having that meeting?"
~~~
Ten minutes later Dave sat alone again in his office, re-reading the prank memo and playing with his golden pen. Both his promotion and the prank had reasonable, if unlikely explanations. He still wasn't sure the pen actually did anything. He glanced back at the joke and scanned it again;
'All female staff shall conform to a dress code while working in the office and/or meeting with clients...' followed by a list of "acceptable" clothing including low-cut tops, high skirts, high heels, etc.
Dave crossed out a few of the least professional items; french maid costumes, halter-tops, crotchless anything. He ended up removing the entire underwear section, no reason to regulate that at all he decided. He added "ample" to 'tops shall be worn to expose cleavage' and then crossed out 'all female staff' and wrote in "Jenny Mahony". He pulled over his "wish list" and added "Joe will assign Jenny to be my personal assistant." He glanced at he edited memo and recalled his panic when he thought he'd be blamed for the prank, so he added. "Jenny will accept her dress code restrictions to avoid being fired and no one will do anything to change her situation in this regard." He smiled and put the memo, wishlist, and gold pen in a drawer and locked it.
"Enough wishful thinking, time to earn my promotion!" Dave whispered to himself as he pulled up the Danverness files.