Todd wasn't about to go searching Marty's house for his friends. "Jamie! Marty! Get down here now!"
There was no response.
Todd was beginning to worry that his friends may have already gone elsewhere, or perhaps they were never here to start with. If Jamie wasn't answering his phone and he couldn't find them, he couldn't imagine who he'd go to next. A loud thump came from the cieling, followed by Jamie's voice. "Yeah, uh, Todd? You might want to come up here, I'm not sure I can get down there."
Silently thankful for a response, Todd had no intention of going up more stairs. "My junk is the size of two exercise balls. You come down here!"
"I have no legs and I'm pretty sure Marty's got it worse. We need you up here, man!"He muttered under his breath, hoisting his testicles from the couch to help his friends. Going up the stairs proved much easier than it was to go down them, as Todd need only lean forward to prevent himself from falling down the stairs. The stairwell was also more open with a banister, meaning his testes had a little "breathing room" while he scales the incline.
As he crested near the top of the stairs, he heard Jamie's voice once more. "Holy shit, Todd!"
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever bullshit that's happened to you, stuff it. I'm-" At this point Todd reached the top, rotated, and saw what he could only guess was Jamie. "Shit, Jamie. Is that you?" A reptilian creature was laying belly-down, its head facing toward him. There was a basic resemblance of Jamie in its face, but it looked so foreign Todd felt it necessary to ask.
The creature looked almost sheepish, its lips a slightly thickened layer of scales. "I really look that bad at face value, huh? Then you're really gonna freak about what's behind me." Todd says nothing in response, instead wobbling through the hallway to get a better look. "Shit, man, don't put that thing over me!"
He could hear Jamie recoil out from under him, but his massive testicles blocked his vision still. However, he could clearly see Jamie's face from above now, which had to be impossible. Jamie was just under 6 feet tall, but his head nearly touched the ceiling. Letting his testes and cock pool at his feet, Todd realized what has happened.
Jamie wasn't just covered in brown, patterned scales. His upper "half" was mostly humanoid in shape, but about 3 feet down it changed from a scale-covered humanoid to a complete snake, which trailed on for an impossible length. Jamie had to be near 25 feet long, the thick snake's tail poorly coiled several times in the master bedroom of Marty's parents. Jamie's arms had become spindly and thin, the claw-like fingers joining its knobby limb being the thickest part. The only reason Jamie appeared tall was that he was "standing" on two layers of himself.
Todd looked down at his own relatively small problem. He could still leave his house, but Jamie would be impossible to hide. If worse came to worse, he could have his junk surgically removed, but Jamie'd probably die if he was chopped up to his torso, not to mention he'd still be covered in scales. "I see you've got some moving problems of your own."
"No shit, Todd! It had to have been Wright, he-"
"Shut up, Jamie. I know what he said, and we're all going to go to his place to get this fixed."
"Maybe you haven't noticed..." Jamie's massive lower half spasmed a few times, getting nowhere and knocking into most of the furniture and walls. "...But there's no way I can move. Marty refuses to unlock his door or talk, so I don't even know what his problem is."
Todd had no time for this. If there was anything tied to time about this, he would rather not find out the hard way. On that note, he wasn't going to go at this alone. "So what, you're going to spend the rest of your life in this room? Since there's nothing in here and you've got to feed and water like two tons of snake, you'll probably live 2 days, tops. You get downstairs, I'll get Marty." Jamie looked hesitant, but Todd pulled up his testicles and waddled to Marty's room. He knocked on the door for a response, but got none.
"Marty, you unlock this door now or I'm breaking it." Todd still heard no response, not even movement. Possibilities ran through Todd's head, from Marty abandoning his room to possibly being in peril, and chose to just do it. His parents could cover the costs and this is clearly an exceptional circumstance. Using his shoulder, he crashed through the door but stopped short, partly because his testicles were providing a barrier and mostly because he couldn't have anticipated Marty's state.
Sitting upside-down in Marty's bed was a gigantic spider. While his room had been small, this creature nearly went from wall to wall, hanging well over the bed. Its massive abdomen was laying heavily on the floor, and its bulky legs were curled upward and nearly touching the ceiling. It reminded Todd of a dead bug. The entirety of its body was covered in rusty red hairs, and the best guess Todd had at what this creature could be was some sort of giant tarantula.
Instead of a giant spider's head, an almost human-looking thing covered in a similar chitin, between a muddy shade of brown and some earthen shade of red. The head still had massive fangs covering where a mouth would be, and the eyes looked like those of an insect; staring and oversized. There were several smaller black bumps above and behind the creature's eyes, and Todd assumed they were probably more eyes. Instead of two arms, there were four clawed limbs. They wouldn't be able to manipulate objects on their own, but used in tandem they might.
"Marty, is that you?" The creature made absolutely no movement, and Todd began to worry. Its chitinous exterior and strange anatomy gave him no hints on how to find out if Marty(?) was alive. Dragging his testicles over to the human half of the creature, Todd decided to try the only thing he could think of: striking it awake. He hit the creature, and just like he had pressed the on-button to a machine, it began to wildly move all its limbs and make a series of stange noises. "Marty! Stop moving and talk to me!"
The creature slowed its movements, but continued to make strange noises while facing Todd. After a few seconds, Todd decided that was enough. "I can't understand a word you're saying. Lift your arms up if you're Marty." It paused, and after a few seconds two of the four arms were shakily raised. "Close enough. We're going out to get ourselves fixed, and-Oh shit, it was you that hated spiders, wasn't it?"
Marty nodded, making more noises and gesturing toward his massive lower half. "Shit man, you're definitely gonna wantta come with us. Can you walk?" He shrugged, then wobbled his many legs in the air some more. "Guess we'll both find out."
Todd, having a basic knowledge of tarantulas, grabbed both of Marty's pillows, then moved to the spider-end of Marty. Using one pillow, he began to push Marty's legs upward, then used the second to help with rotating the abdomen. After some effort and some aid from Marty, he rolled the tarantula half into a more upright position.
"Marty, can you walk?" With another half-hearted shrug, one of the frontmost legs carefully lifted up, and was set back down. Todd was about to order Marty downstairs as well, but looked at the door. It wasn't nearly large enough to fit the massive spider's abdomen. "Uh, try to squeeze through the door and get downstairs. Bugs can squeeze through stuff, and you need to get out of here." With that, Todd quickly lifted his testicles and made his way down the hall, but was stopped by Jamie. Though his upper half was partway down the stairs, his gigantic snake's tail still trailed all the way into the room, making it impossible to traverse down the stairs. "Jamie, get moving."
The snake-man motioned toward his arms. "I can't drag myself too fast with these weak arms."
"Then start moving like a snake. You're really not going to want to be on these stairs when Marty gets out."
"You got to Marty? Is he-"
Todd interrupted. "He's a giant spider like you're a giant snake." He set his load down, and began to pull what was left of Jamie in the bedroom into the hallway to expediate the process.
"Well okay then." With Todd's help, Jamie fumbled his way down the remaining stairs and began to knock into the furniture in the living room.
"Jamie, head toward the back yard. The living room won't have near enough space for us all." It was at this time Todd looked back to see the hulking figure of Marty squeezing through the much smaller door. He hadn't expected Marty to get all the way to the door this fast, but in all fairness Marty had been one of the faster wrestlers to adapt to strange positions while in a match.
Jamie had managed to coil himself in a corner of the backyard, and with some effort, Todd managed to convince Marty to leave his house. As he placed his gargantuan balls into the wheelbarrow once more, he looked at both of his friends. He used to be the tallest of the group, but now both Marty and Jamie towered over him. He dismissed those meaningless thoughts; he had a goal.
"Alright you two, we're going to have to make a beeline for old man Wright's place. I thought I was out of place before, but you two are definitely gonna draw eyes. As long as he's at his house, it's only a 30 minute walk from here." Marty looked hesitant and was making more noises, and Jamie appeared incredulous. "And before you try to dodge me, remember: we either do this for one day and it's fixed, or we do nothing and live like this every day for the rest of our lives."