The warrior acolytes reassembled by the inn, and Lyra & Yvana went up front to receive them. “Where’s the commander?” one of them asked.
“She perished while battling the innkeeper.” Lyra responded solemnly, doing her best to keep a straight face.
“Oh that’s great… urm I mean that’s terrible news, Sarge.” the acolyte paused for a moment. “I’m really sorry, but we let the witch escape. Our trackers can’t find her anywhere.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve taken care of her. She won’t be bothering you again.” Mika and Ander had strolled up to join them.
“Sarge! That mage was with the witch! He’s …”
“I think there must have been a misunderstanding.” Lyra interrupted calmly. “He and his companions just saved our lives. And while the witch is out of the picture, the innkeeper is still on the loose. I need you to go re-capture him.”
“I can help you track him down.” Ander offered. “He hasn’t gone far.” Lyra nodded, and the wizard joined the acolyte party as they set out.
+++++++++++++
After considerable effort, the ape finally managed to pry open the latch to the abandoned hut. She rushed inside with the wolf right behind, and they stopped in the center of an elaborate rune circle. The runes glowed, engulfing the pair in a column of light, restoring the innkeeper and his barmaid back to their human form. “Thank goodness this thing still works after all these years.” the innkeeper muttered with relief. “Marge, can you help me set up the traps? They’re going to be here any moment.”
When they were done, they retreated back into the hut, and the innkeeper pulled a long bow from a rack and tried stringing it. “Robin, are you sure you should still be using that…”
The innkeeper harrumphed. “May I remind you that I was once one of the best rangers in the land?”
“But you retired more than a decade ago! And you were at least 25 pounds lighter…”
Robin snorted as he drew an arrow and let it fly towards a moss-covered target outside the window. Missing completely, it somehow struck a passing squirrel, knocking it off a branch.
“Still haven’t lost my touch!” he grinned smugly as Marge rolled her eyes. Then suddenly, she stiffened. “They’re here…” she whispered.
The acolytes surrounded the hut, drawing their weapons. Just as they were about to charge, they heard a faint rustling from above, and a sprinkling of glittering dust drifted down upon them. They began to laugh uncontrollably, dropping their weapons and rolling around on the ground clutching their bellies.
“You useless wizard! Can’t you even detect a trap?” One of the acolytes had been standing at the back with Ander, and they had both avoided the laughing powder.
“But you were in so much of a hurry…”
“Oh no! He’s coming out now with a dagger. We must stop him before he kills any of my comrades!”
“No, wait!” Ander protested, but she had already charged forward, and he was forced to follow behind in support. Suddenly, he felt a prick on his neck as a dart pierced his skin, and he found himself getting a raging hard-on. “Love potion…” was the last rational thought he managed before becoming overwhelmed by raw passion. Making eye contact with the acolyte ahead, who had also been hit by the same dart, they ripped off their clothes, launched themselves at each other and began making love intensely like wild animals.
“Nice shot, cupid.” the innkeeper complimented the barmaid as he surveyed his enemies, reduced to a pair of naked bodies writhing on the ground in uncontrollable lust. “Unfortunately, none of these acolytes are the pair that stole my stone. They must still be back at the inn.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for Erik? Esmeralda must have asked him for help, and he ought to be on his way…”
“Don’t you ever mention that cowardly beastmaster’s name in front of me! All he does is hide in a tree while summoning flocks of fireboars and other stupid beasties.”
“Now, Robin. You’re just jealous because Esmeralda has taken a shine to him. You know Erik is very thoughtful about how he plans his attacks. And unlike you, he’s constantly finding ways to improve himself, such as by learning magic from Esmeralda. You’re just content to rely on your stone and sit around all day drinking beer and reading porn.”
“Well, if that idiot zookeeper is here, we must make double time back to the inn. I’m not letting him get his grubby hands on MY stone.”
+++++++++++++
Back at the stables, Mika gently pulled Tobi aside. “There’s something I need to tell you.” he said.
“What is it?”
“Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is, you really are a princess, and many of your ancestors were exceptionally gifted magi. In fact, one of them was the first Archmage of Arlor. She was the founder of the wizard’s guild where I’m apprenticed now.”
“And the bad news?”
“Well, your family also has a long history of bipolar disorder.”
“Huh?” she stared blankly at him.
“It’s… kind of hard to explain. I guess it could be sort of like, having an evil twin sister sharing your body with you?”
“WHAT?!” Tobi looked at him in alarm.
“Don’t worry.” Mika said in a comforting tone. “There are ways to control it. We’ll ask Ander when he gets back if he knows of any druids in the area. Or, we can go back with Lyra to her temple and get advice from the priestess… OUCH!” he flinched as he reached up and pulled a dart out from his neck. Another cry rang out, and he turned to find a naked little stableboy standing where Audrey had been.
“Don’t panic!” Lyra shouted as she flung a small metallic object at the ground. A sphere of blue light rapidly expanded and surrounded the party. “That shield should keep out most projectiles. Scan the surroundings for the attackers!”
“Just how many times do I have to turn you back? You really need to work on your defensive skills.” Mika sighed in exasperation as he pointed his stone at the helpless Aubrey.
“MANY times?” Lyra glanced enquiringly at the restored warrior. “I’m sure Mika is just… confused.” Audrey sputtered.
“I think I see them!” Tobi shouted out.